


Dating Troy Otto - An Interactive Story

by Inkaley



Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Zombie Apocalypse, Dating, Falling In Love, Flirting, Friendship, Interactive Fiction, Love, M/M, Reader-Interactive, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-28
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-04-14 05:15:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 36,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14128884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkaley/pseuds/Inkaley
Summary: In a world without zombies, Nick and Troy’s paths cross by pure chance. And yet, neither of them can deny the fateful attraction drawing them close right from the very start. So Nick takes a chance and asks the handsome stranger out. But Troy’s of course not an easy nut to crack.Can you help Nick make the right choices to win over Troy’s heart?





	1. A Meeting by Chance

**Author's Note:**

> Three more weeks until the new season starts, so how about a little game to sweeten the wait?  
> In this story, you’ll get the chance to determine the progression of the plot by taking little polls at the end of each chapter. It’s sort of an experiment, since I have no idea if the following for this pairing is even big enough to make this little game fun, but why not give it a try? :)  
> Plot, mood, settings, level of hotness – everything will be in your hands!  
> Can you get their romance to a happy ending?  
> (The idea for this zombie-free AU came from a little what-if scenario in my main story “The Grand Cause”, but otherwise those two fic are not related in any way.)

_Looks like I’ve been stood up by my date… Grmbl… Think I should give him five more minutes?_

Nick’s fingers scurry over the keyboard, then he hits the submit button and he puts the smartphone back into his pocket. Crossing his arms before his chest, his eyes roam across the square once more. Nothing. The one face he still keeps hoping would pop up in the crowd of busy people doing their shopping is nowhere to be found.

A quick buzz in his jacket, and he pulls out his phone once more. The reply’s here.

_Keep on waiting!_

Fine, Nick thinks with an inward growl, not having much hope his current situation is about to change anytime soon. But then again, CrowdClue has helped him out with more than one good advice over the past weeks, so why not trust on their judgement this time as well?

And hell, he’s right to heed CrowdClue’s suggestion. It wasn’t even necessary to give his date five more minutes. Not even a minute later, a tall, slender figure emerges from the crowd: Khaki army pants, rust-colored flannel shirt. A brown, messy head of hair, faint three-day stubble covering his cheek. The man looks around with a frown first, then dark eyes meet Nick’s.

And Nick’s heart skips a beat.

In all fairness, the chances of this guy actually showing up here had been slim from the very start. And yet, Nick had decided to wait. Because even though he could not tell exactly why, there had been something about that moment, their first encounter… something that had immediately felt like fate.

Even more surprising since today certainly hadn’t started like a day anything “fateful” could happen. Just like any other ordinary day, he hadn’t been able to resist the temptation to hit the snooze button a few times, eventually jumped out of bed in shock and far too late, bolted down an overhasty breakfast, and exhausted his weekly quota of swear words stuck in the middle of L.A.’s mediatory rush hour traffic jams.

Against all odds, he made it to work in time, the small construction firm with its offices on the third floor of one of L.A.’s downtown skyscrapers. They had am important job in San Diego today, so heading out early was absolutely mandatory.

Only once Nick and his colleagues had reached their destination, Nick realized with shock the cartridge caulking gun they’d need to finish their job, was still in the back of his car in the garage, lying there peacefully in darkness and silence, blissfully forgotten underneath a bunch of empty deposit bottles.

“I’ll get a new one from the hardware store!” he promised his colleagues guiltily, immediately heading off to make up for his mistake, not knowing that this accidental twist of events would end up changing his life forever.

Because once he’d located the caulking guns, he noticed with shock there was only one of them left in stock – and another customer was already in the middle of heading straight towards it as well.

 _No!_ Nick thought in panic, immediately rushing towards the shelf as if this was an early Black Friday Sale, not caring about the looks the other customers were shooting him. Nearly body-checking his rival out of the way, Nick only relaxed once he had his hand on the desired item.

He may have rejoiced too soon, though. ‘Cause the other man, the one who had his eyes on the last caulking gun as well, had reached for it simultaneously, holding the tool with an equally firm grip.

“Please!” Nick immediately begged. “I really, _really_ need this!”

“I really, really need this as well,” the stranger replied casually, and only once these words had been spoken, Nick turned his head and looked at him – and for the very first time, their eyes met.

And the first thought that came to his mind was: _Wow_.

His fingers around the caulking gun loosened slightly. He didn’t believe in things like love at first sight, but right here and now, at this very moment, he couldn’t deny the fact that his heart skipped a beat and he felt like for a second, he was eye to eye with his destiny.

It was a tall, young man looking back at him, around his age probably, handsome face, pretty eyes. Expression however anything but pleased.

“Let go,” the man said, calm but insisting, “I got it first.”

Usually, Nick’s far from being the kind of person to chat up strangers, but in this case he found himself talking before he could even think about it.

“Alright, I’ll let you have the caulking gun,” he told the other man, ignoring the voice of reason that was yelling inside his head: _“Are you NUTS? You can’t!!”_

On the outside however, he kept holding the stranger’s eyes. “On one condition: You’ll treat me to a coffee on my lunch break.”

The other man kept looking back at him for a long while, then just huffed at him disparagingly, tearing the caulking gun from Nick’s hand with a quick jolt. Without any further reaction, he turned around, leaving Nick behind at the empty shelf.

Having gotten neither a reply nor the tool he was in so dire need of, Nick ended up raising his voice. “Half past one, outside the entrance!”

 

It’s 1:40 now, and Nick and the stranger from the hardware store are face to face once again.

“I didn’t think you’d actually show up,” Nick says honestly, still in disbelief this was actually happening.

The young man holds Nick’s eyes defiantly as he shrugs. “Well, that was the deal, wasn’t it?”

 

***

 

Both probably unsure about what this is or why they’re actually here with each other in the first place, they end up in the Starbucks across the street, which is luckily not that crowded at this time of day.

Waiting in line with a total stranger as his “date”, Nick starts feeling uncomfortable for a moment, already starting to regret his irrational decision to get them here for no real reason at all.

Then however, to his surprise, the other man looks at him. “What would you have needed the caulking gun for?” he wants to know.

“Ah, well,” Nick shrugs. “I’m working for a construction firm and we’re here on a job. Forgot my tools at HQ, so I thought I could just hurry off and buy a new one.”

Surprisingly, there’s a flicker in his companion’s eyes. “Why didn’t you say so? I had no idea it was actually important.”

“It’s okay,” Nick replies amicably. “Got a package of old-fashioned joint sealer instead. Did the job just as well.”

When the other man still doesn’t seem convinced, Nick decides to change the subject a little. “What about you? What do you need the caulking gun for?”

“Fix a sink,” he replies quickly, and before Nick gets the chance to inquire any further, it’s already their turn and the barista behind the counter asks them for their orders.

“Uhm, I’ll take the Caramel Macchiato, tall.” Nick leans in slightly, as his eyes skim over the menu above the counter.

She’s quick to take the matching paper cup. “Your name?”

“Uhm…” Nick’s eyes dart to her, and even though he knows he should behave to make a good impression on his date, he just can’t help himself. That silly Starbucks routine has always seemed so ridiculous to him, it’s become a (bad) habit to annoy the staff with monstrous names. “Sean-Rhys,” he replies despite himself, shooting her his most winsome smile.

She wrinkles her nose at that with a frown, but scribbles something down after all. Nick’s dying to know what she’s come up with.

“Seriously?” His companion’s raised his eyebrows as well. “ _That’s_ your name?”

“God, no,” Nick counters with a whisper, “but my name is none of her business and I couldn’t resist.”

“What about you?” The barista has turned to the other man, who’s already made up his mind and goes for an Iced Caffè Mocha.

“And your name?” she wants to know once more.

The young man hesitates for a second, then shoots Nick a look and – to Nick’s utter surprise – suddenly there’s something like a smirk on his face. “I’m Bartholomew-Phineas.”

 _Woah, seriously?!_ Nick finds himself staring at the other man with a look of mock-shock, pressing his hand on his mouth to keep himself from bursting into laughter.

His companion raises his eyebrows at him victoriously.

 _Wow…_ Nick thinks for the second time today.

And “wow” is also what the barista comments with a huff. “Your parents must really hate you.”

 

 _Incredible_ , Nick thinks with disbelief as he takes a seat at an empty table at one of the bright windows, putting his Latte down in front of him. They do share the same kind of humor, who would have guessed!

And just like that, their little exchange just now has stirred something inside of him, a strange giddy feeling suddenly tickling his heart. He’s been attracted to this man, yes, but so far, this “date” had been nothing but a crackpot idea. He didn’t expect anything from it. Or at least, hadn’t until now.

“Bartholomew-Phineas” is still standing by the counter, waiting for his coffee to be ready.

And suddenly, Nick’s hopeful about this date.

Suddenly, he’s afraid of messing it up. He wants to get to know this person, wants to make a good impression on him. And who knows. Maybe he’ll even – finally! – get a chance at this happiness he’s been longing for for so long.

He’s gonna need CrowdClue’s help on this once more, that’s for sure!

So hastily he pulls out his phone, swipes screens for the CrowdClue app, then hits the icon.

CrowdClue… One of those silly apps you download when you’re bored. The premise of this one is to rely on the wisdom of the crowd (or in this case, you could also call it _wisdom of the Cloud_ ) to support you in making a decision. You can submit your question to the app, and immediately and in real-time, people will reply to your polls, deciding just on their intuition. Of course, neither do they know you nor the real scope of your issues, so you probably shouldn’t base a life or death decision on their replies.

But at least to Nick, the advice the Cloud’s given him so far has been surprisingly good. So why not keep relying on it some more?

 _Having coffee with some good-looking stranger,_ he types. _Better be flirty or sweet?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now it’s your turn! Help Nick win over Troy’s heart by giving him some good advice :)  
> By that, the way this story progresses is in your hands.  
> Vote flirty or sweet to set the mood of their conversation (voting is anonymous and doesn’t require any registration).  
> <http://pollmaker.vote/p/TQ7DXAA8>  
> Majority wins!


	2. Coffee with Bartholomew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so this worked out very nicely!! Thank you, everyone, who participated in the first poll and supported this little game! Can't wait to see what advice you come up with this time :))

Not even ten seconds later, Nick’s phone buzzes again and the CrowdClue app pops up informing him of the results. The Cloud has made up its mind:

_Be flirty! (73 %)_

_Alright_ , he thinks, bracing himself, _that’s right! Why not be bold and take a chance? This might be your one and only shot. You can’t afford to be shy!_

He’s giving his companion his brightest smile as the latter finally joins him at the table and sits down opposite him.

“Okay, lemme see, lemme see!” Nick calls immediately, eyeing his Iced Mocha with curiosity.

The other man shoots him a smirk in return. “Well, I think she did a pretty decent job.” He turns the cup around so Nick can read the name.

_Bartholomy F._

“Not bad, not bad,” Nick snickers immediately. “Except for the _‘-ew’_ at the end, she got it about right. The Phineas brought her to her limits, though.”

“What about you?” his date wants to know, nodding at Nick’s Latte.

“I think I can top it,” he states confidently, building up the tension before revealing his name on the cup as well.

_Sean Rice._

“She probably thought it was my last name,” Nick muses with a shrug, as “Bartholomew” starts laughing merrily.

He has a sweet laugh, Nick notices immediately, almost a little goofy. Very charming.

“ _Sean Rice_ ,” the other man repeats once more, shaking his head. “Makes me all hungry!”

“Well,” Nick shoots him a look. _Be flirty!_ “Wanna have a taste?”

 _Oh God, no, that was awful!_ Nick realizes as soon as the words leave his mouth. Luckily, he manages to change tack last second. “There are a lot of great Asian places around, my colleagues told me.” _Phew! That was close._

“Good to know,” the other man replies a little off-handedly, then the conversation is over. He takes a sip from his coffee to fill the silence.

Struggling to find a new topic, Nick only manages to come up with a bunch of clichéd questions. “So, _Bartholomew_ ,” he eventually clears his throat, shooting his date a playful grin to cover up the awkwardness. “Any good movies you’ve seen recently?”

“Nah,” the other man replies. “I’m not that much into movies.”

 _Oh, okay? Well, then… How about…?_ “Music!” Nick suggests. “What kind of music do you like?”

“I like Metal,” comes the quick reply. “Black or Death, mostly. Depends on the band, though.” He shoots Nick a look. “What about you?”

 _Yikes… Well, I have people screaming bullshit over ear-deafening noise every day. I call it work. So, yeah…_ “Oh, you know. Whatever they play on the radio…”

Silence returns.

This time it’s Nick stirring his coffee and taking a sip. Hm… It’s actually not that easy to find a common conversation topic… Unless… “You were telling me about your sink,” Nick looks at the stranger with curiosity. “You’re fixing it yourself?”

“Yeah,” the man replies with a nod.

“So you’re a bit of a handyman, then?”

“Only when it comes to it,” Bartholomew shrugs. “I’m not really fond of home maintenance, but I guess I’ve fixed one or two issues. Renewed the planks of our porch last summer. And just a few weeks ago, I re-adjusted the pressure in our heating system when it dropped too low. It wasn’t working smoothly anymore.”

That captures Nick’s interest. “That’s cool. Anyone showed you how to do that? Or how did you know how much circuit water you had to refill?“

The man squints his eyes, trying to recall. “Well, I refilled it until the manometer was at one bar, I guess. There was a green marker on the scale.”

“That’s just the minimum,” Nick explains. “How many floors does your house have? Rule of thumb is one bar for each floor.”

“Oh, really? I didn’t know that,” Bartholomew replies. “Then I guess I’ll have to adjust it some more after all.”

“It’s cool you’re doing this in the first place,” Nick comments happily. “I wouldn’t have guessed when we met,” he then muses, shooting his companion a meaningful glance. “A man with such skilled hands.”

“Not really,” the other man counters with a chuckle, unfazed by the suggestive look though. “But at home, there isn’t always someone around who can help you if a water pipe breaks for example. You gotta be prepared.”

“Or you can just call a plumber,” Nick chips in. “Unless you’re living in the middle of nowhere, without electricity or a working telephone line.”

“Oh, we do have a phone line,” Bartholomew points out immediately and for a quick moment Nick thinks he’s joking. But the expected smirk doesn’t appear. “And energy. Solar panels, disaster-proof ones. Cattle, crops…”

“What is this?” Nick shakes his head with a disbelieving smile. “Some sort of survivalist community?”

“In a way,” his companion nods, totally serious.

Nick startles, perplexed. “For real, now?!”

“Yup,” the other man confirms, not without pride in his voice.

“Cool,” Nick purses his lips, impressed. “And that’s where you live?”

Turns out, Nick’s finally tackled a topic that excites his date, as immediately the latter starts telling him everything there is to know about his home eagerly. It’s a bit crazy, the idea that people would pass on the convenience of modern civilization and grow their own crops rather than buy it in the supermarket, but hey, to each their own. And the life he presents to Nick in his narrations definitely sound less boring than his own blunt daily grind.

“So,” Nick concludes eventually. “If there’s a nuclear disaster or… say… a zombie apocalypse in store for us,” his eyes suddenly locking back to his companion’s, “I could come to you and you’d protect me?” Raising a flirty eyebrow at him.

And for the first time, Nick’s advances seem to fall on fertile soil.

“I could try,” Bartholomew replies with a tone that sounds almost amicable.

Spurred on by this partial victory, Nick’s just about to open his mouth once more, when his companion all of a sudden changes the subject.

“So what about you?” he wants to know. “You said you worked for a construction firm?”

“Yeah,” Nick nods, a bit perplexed to suddenly find the spotlight of the conversation on himself. “My dad actually had a construction firm and my boss was one of his former colleagues,” he tells him, before taking another gulp of his coffee.

“Oh, so your boss already knew you before he hired you,” Bartholomew concludes.

“Yeah.” Nodding. “So after I graduated, he offered me the job,” Nick lies. Then shrugs. “I guess there are better jobs and also better-paid jobs than this, but I’m good. I like building houses.” Shooting him a slightly embarrassed grin. “In the beginning, all you got is plain ground. And months later, an entire house has grown there. I like that.”

The other man smiles at Nick sympathetically. “You physically get to see the fruit of your labor.”

“Exactly,” Nick smiles. “That’s super rewarding.” And because the chemistry between them suddenly just seems so right and his acquaintance seems so handsome and sweet and understands him so well, Nick leans towards him and smiles. “Also, I like meeting new people at different cities. Even though I’m not as lucky as to have coffee with such charming company every day.” Giving him a sassy wink.

And because Nick’s really invested in this and suddenly feels so daring, he grabs his Latte and takes a few innocent sucks at the straw.

Bartholomew holds his eyes for several moments, and there’s some wordless conversation going on between them – a really intense one, according to Nick.

According to his companion, probably not so much. Eventually, Bartholomew casts his eyes down, pursing his lips apologetically. “I… uhm… I think I gotta go.”

“Go?” Nick repeats, genuinely shocked. What on earth is going on? He wants to leave? Now? _Why_? To Nick, this sudden twist of events comes totally out of the blue. After all, their date seemed to have been working out perfectly so far! “But… why?” he asks, voice full of disappointment.

“My friends are waiting for me,” the man replies, getting up from his chair. “And we still got a 250 miles drive ahead of us.”

“Okay…” Nick then whispers and now he’s the one to cast down his eyes, crestfallen. He doesn’t want him to go. Not yet!

Bartholomew however just grabs his tray to return it. At least he leaves his jacket on the chair next to Nick, so chances are he’ll come back to say goodbye.

Watching him head for the used-dishes counter, Nick inwardly punches himself. This had the potential to actually go somewhere, but apparently he screwed it up…

He wants to see him again. Wants to see him again so badly… But in just a few seconds, his date will return, grab his jacket and leave – and there’ll be no way to ever see him again. Never.

 _I could ask him for his number,_ Nick ponders, _although I doubt he’d give it to me, now that I’ve scared him off. Or maybe I could secretly slip him mine, but then again, I doubt he’d ever call._

Realistically, both options seem pretty hopeless… So which alternative to choose?

Scanning the café, Nick spots Bartholomew waiting at the tray trolley – one of the Starbucks staff is in the middle of emptying it. Thank God! At least a little delay to come up with a plan.

Nick pulls out his phone, tapping on the CrowdClue icon.

 _Help!! I think I scared off my date,_ he types hastily. _Any suggestions on how I could keep in touch with him nevertheless?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's your turn again!  
> Vote "Be bold and ask for his number!" or "Be smart and secretly slip him yours!" at  
> <http://pollmaker.vote/p/C5G5L7EQ>  
> (Voting is anonymous and doesn't require any registration.)  
> Majority wins!


	3. Persistant Obstacles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come on, guys! What kind of result is that?? Admit it, you were secretly conspiring behind my back ;) So turns out we have a perfect tie, 50 percent voted for the “ask him straight” option, 50 percent for the “secretly slip the number” option. Well, luckily in this case, it’s actually possible to combine both versions.  
> Hope you’ll enjoy the result :)

Nervously waiting for the results, Nick keeps staring at the screen of his phone. Then, finally, the long-awaited buzzing.

“What the…”

Nick frowns as he scans the results. _Okay, not very helpful, guys…_ A 50:50 tie. For a brief moment, he wonders if this is a bad omen. If not even the omniscient Cloud can come up with some good advice on his dilemma, how on earth should he ever manage to get his happy ending here?

On the other hand, maybe this is just an encouragement to go all out on this, give it all he got.

Throwing a quick glance over his shoulder, he spots Bartholomew sliding his tray into the tray trolley.

_Quick, now!_

Pulling out a pen, he hastily grabs the paper napkin on his own tray, scribbling his number on it. Then he slips it into his own pocket, just as Bartholomew returns to the table. _My backup_ , he thinks, _in case plan A fails_.

“Alright, then,” the other man says, the expression on his face now more reserved than before when they were laughing together.

“Okay,” Nick replies, getting up from his chair as well, fighting to keep up the pokerface. “Thanks for the coffee.”

“Sure,” Bartholomew nods. “I owed you,” he points out, “for letting me have the caulking gun…”

“Yeah,” Nick tries to shoot him a smile, suddenly all nervous. “I’d still love to return the favor someday and treat _you_ next time…” He swallows, then glances at him sheepishly. “Would you give me your number?”

“I don’t have a mobile phone,” the other man replies with a regretful smile, “sorry…”

“Oh,” Nick purses his lips, looking away as the rebuff hits him harder than expected. He knows for a fact that’s a lie – he’s seen Bartholomew check his phone when he was waiting at the counter for his coffee.

_But you do have a landline,_ Nick almost feels tempted to point out, but what’s the point? This guy doesn’t want to give him his number, he’d just come up with another excuse, and by being too pushy, he might end up scaring him off entirely.

So maybe the softer version, then. Plan B. Even if it’s the less preferable one.

“Well, then maybe we’ll run into each other again sometime at the hardware store,” Nick muses, and the fact that he apparently won’t insist any further seems to get the other man to relax a little and grow more amicable.

“Yeah,” Bartholomew replies, now actually displaying a little smile ( _of relief?_ , Nick suspects). “That could be.”

“Cool,” Nick nods, acting unfazed, then squeezes past Bartholomew’s chair, by that however clumsily catching the latter’s jacket, causing it to drop to the floor. “Oh, I’m so sorry,” Nick mutters, bending down quickly to pick it up. Patting off the dust, he hands it back to its rightful owner. “Sorry again.”

“It’s okay,” Bartholomew replies easily, then puts on the jacket. “So I guess I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah,” Nick replies quietly. “Sure.”

Then the slender stranger turns around, heading for the door, and Nick stays behind in the café all alone. His smile fades immediately. For a few blinks, he spots him again outside, crossing the street, but right at that moment Nick knows this is the last he’ll ever see of Bartholomew.

He did slip him his number, yeah. But at the very core of his heart, he knows his phone ain’t never gonna ring.

 

***

 

And it doesn’t. At least not in the coming days. Nick keeps checking his phone almost every quarter. But not once does the number of an unknown caller appear on the screen – that is, not until Thursday night.

Nick automatically holds his breath as his phone indeed informs him of one missed call by a number he doesn’t recognize. No way!! He actually did call!

With shaky hands, Nick hits the button to call the number back – his heart pounding in his ears as he waits for Bartholomew’s voice to pick up at the other end… When suddenly there’s a female voice greeting him. “Hey, Nick.” Alicia. His sister. “My battery died, so Zoe lent me her phone.”

The disappointment he felt that night made him realize how much he wished to see the stranger again. Sure, they hadn’t spent that much time together yet and in all honesty he knew next to nothing about this man. And yet. The connection he’d felt with this person right from the moment they first ran into each other has been so strong… Like they’d been destined to meet. Like they were meant to be with each other in another life.

He felt he owed it to himself to at least get to know this man a little better. If it should become clear then that they weren’t meant to be after all, then so be it. But at least he needed to try.

 

Nick and his colleagues keep on working on their project in San Diego all of next week. And every day on his lunch break, Nick comes up with some excuse to return to the hardware store – be it to get a little package of nails or a bunch of chocolate bars for his colleagues – but no matter how hard he looks, he never spots Bartholomew again.

Then their project in San Diego is finished and with it, the chances of accidentally running into his crush once again crumbles to pieces.

The next week, it’s a sunny Tuesday evening, when Nick returns home from work.

Shortly after he started working for his boss, he found a small apartment closer to the city center than his family’s house, and even though the rent was pretty high and consumed the biggest part of his wage, he moved in. It was small, but sunny in the afternoon, and there even was a small balcony that harbored a chair and a narrow table with an ashtray.

Today, Nick’s in an especially good mood. The perfect weather has significantly raised his spirits and at work, a client has commissioned a project they had all been hoping for so badly. It doesn’t even hurt him to switch on his phone and find out he once again hasn’t missed any calls. Instead, he opens the balcony door, then grabs his notebook and lets himself drop on the little chair. The warm sunshine warming his skin, he opens his web browser, accessing Google.

_I know next to nothing about this guy_ , he thinks to himself, _not even his real name. But “next to nothing” isn’t “nothing at all”, right?_

Taking a wild guess, he starts typing.

_Survivalist community San Diego_

The search results however don’t seem very promising. “San Diego School of Survival”, “Protective Bunkers near San Diego”, “Outdoor survival San Diego”… No, no, no. That’s not it. None of these offerings seem to match the community Bartholomew has described to him.

Then another thought crosses his mind.

_“Still a 250 miles drive ahead of us.”_

And Nick switches to Maps. Alright, that’s quite the range, no doubt about that… But as he scans the map displayed and the search results highlighted, there’s actually one of the results that catches his eyes: Far to the east of L.A., at the edge of Joshua Tree National Park, there actually is one community that could match Bartholomew’s report.

_Broke Jaw Ranch._

They have a website. Nick doesn’t hesitate a second and accesses it.

Looks good, he thinks as he scrolls through the pages. A self-sustaining community with crops and cattle and solar panels… Just like his date had described it to him.

Jeremiah Otto, the founder, apparently. There’s a huge photo of him and his family on the “About us” section, a pretty wife and two little kids, but unfortunately no sign of Bartholomew.

Then he stumbles over a comprehensive photo gallery and a new spark of hope lights up inside him. For several minutes, he browses through the pictures showing people working, having lunch together, smiling and chatting, posing with freshly harvested vegetables and fruit, riding horses… _The picture book version of the American Dream._

Nick inspects all the photos carefully. And all of a sudden, _jackpot_.

One of the photos shows a few people on the loading area of a pickup – and amongst them, without a doubt, _Bartholomew_.

For a second, Nick’s overwhelmed with joy and happiness over this success, and more than that: He’s thrilled at the prospect of actually getting the chance to see him again, even though he thought he’d lost him forever.

_I’m a hell of a stalker_ , he thinks to himself (not without pride!), chuckling blissfully.

The rest is a piece of cake. One click on “Want to prepare for TEOTWAWKI? Contact us!” and there’s the address as well as a phone number.

Almost a little giddily, Nick puts the notebook away and pulls out his smartphone instead. He’s taken care of the dirty work, now all that's left is to come up with the right way to put his new-found knowledge to good use.

_I think I’ve found the place where I could meet my mysterious date again!_ he types into CrowdClue. _How should I approach this?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And once again, your turn!  
> Vote "Call and insist on that second date!" or "Just get in your car and drive there!" at  
> <http://pollmaker.vote/p/YA4GDCPG>  
> (Voting is anonymous and doesn't require any registration.)  
> Majority wins, and I'm super curious about this one :) !


	4. Homes and Girlfriends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the radio silence! Those past weeks have really been busy, and I have to admit, the little time I did have to write, I spent on the next Grand Cause chapter...  
> But now I finally managed to finish the next chapter on this fic, and I hope it'll manage to make up for the wait!  
> As always thanks for taking part and voting! :)

What’s the greatest feeling of freedom? It’s driving down a next to empty highway with the car windows down, the wind in your hair, the sunshine warming your skin and your favorite music playing on the radio – and a pleasant destination in your mind.

Needless to say, there’s a smile on Nick’s face as he leans back in the driver seat, taking a quick glance at his GPS from time to time. 41 miles to go. Estimated time till arrival: 28 minutes.

He’s thrilled and a bit nervous at the same time thinking of seeing Bartholomew again. In his heart, he knows it’s the right thing to not give up on this too soon. That’s why the crystal clear result of his CrowdClue poll hadn’t surprised him at all: _Just get in your car and drive there! (89 percent)_

On the other hand, he’s naturally a bit worried about how this second meeting with Bartholomew will play out. What if he’s displeased or even enraged by Nick’s persistence? Of course, Nick would never overstay his welcome, so if Bartholomew made it clear he didn’t want to have anything to do with him, he’d back off, naturally. That goes without saying.

And yet, in his heart, Nick prays that won’t be the case. Even since the day they met, he’d been thinking of how amazing they’d be together, how exciting this romance could be, how perfect a match they could be if only they had a chance to get to know each other better.

27 minutes to go. 27 minutes, until he might set the course for his future happiness.

 

Broke Jaw Ranch is a large enclosed area in a beautiful valley in the middle of nowhere. As Nick drives down the main road leading to its gates, it feels like approaching an entirely different world. Cattle on each side of the road, open spaces, fresh, clean air. It’s so different from the crowded, busy city life in L.A. he’s used to.

As he gets closer, he eventually spots trailers, houses and tents, people walking around, talking to each other, working. It’s definitely not an easy life growing crops and securing your own food, he can imagine, but in a way there’s also some kind of archaic appeal to it. At least there is an immediate, material value in this kind of work. In contrast to that, in our modern work world, people earn their money with plastering walls, developing software, writing texts or designing clothes. Not something you could actually survive on if there really was some kind of catastrophe that left you to fend for yourself.

So at the very core of Nick’s heart, seeing this place, he’s even more intrigued about Bartholomew than before. It’s the unfamiliar, the unknown that draws people together. With Bartholomew, Nick has the impression there’s just so many new things to discover and learn, a way to break free from his plain and boring everyday life. A safe way maybe. Safer than the ones he already tried before.

The gates of the ranch are wide open and there’s no special access control or anything. Apparently, people are used to guests visiting the place, be it to say hello to friends and family or because they’re interested in this kind of lifestyle. In fact, there’s cars entering and leaving all the time. Nick’s blends with the crowd.

Even as he parks his car and gets out, no one’s really paying attention to the newcomer. Everyone’s just busy with their everyday lives. So Nick decides to take a little stroll around the place, keep his eyes open and hopefully run into the one person he actually came all this way here for.

 

Impressive indeed, this little world the people here have created. It’s especially stunning as each one of them seems to play their own, specific part, contributing to the big picture, like gears in a clockwork. And yet, at the same time appearing so relaxed and happy – just like these two men passing him: A tall, broad man with a bald head and a smaller, scrawnier one with a pretty face and a neatly trimmed sort of hipster beard. They’re both laughing and joking, not paying any attention to Nick. He wonders if they know Bartholomew. He bets they do, but it’s tricky to ask for someone if you don’t even know their real name.

Then, suddenly, there’s a sight that catches Nick’s eyes: Over there, all the way across the ranch, he spots a small building on the hillside, some sort of adobe or… little cottage. How cute. Not a lot of space for the people living there, but they sure as hell do have quite the view. There’s an old lady hanging out the laundry in front of it, and for a moment, Nick just stands there and watches her, smiling, strangely feeling almost a little melancholic.

“Sean Rhys?!”

Nick freezes as suddenly there’s a voice coming from behind.

Immediately, he turns around – and for a second can’t believe his eyes. It’s him! It’s really him! It’s Bartholomew. His pulse speeds up in an instant.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” Bartholomew wants to know. He seems totally perplexed to run into this unexpected visitor out here, a deep frown darkening his face.

“Hey there,” Nick greets, suddenly regretting having come here without a real reason or invitation. Seeing Bartholomew again after all these weeks… Gosh, Nick had almost forgotten how handsome that man actually was. And now, in just a few seconds, he’s gonna be the one giving Nick his last and final knock-back. “Sorry for the intrusion. I just–“

Bartholomew doesn’t even give him the chance to finish. “How did you even find this place?!” he wants to know, voice now sounding even more hostile than before.

“Well,” Nick shrugs, defensively. “There are not that many other survivalist communities around… And I just couldn’t…” He bites his lips, realizing the mood may not really fit what he was about to say. So instead, he lowers his head, then whispers, with honest regret: “I don’t even know your name.”

“Troy!”

It wasn’t Bartholomew that’d answered. Instead, there’s an elderly man emerging from the building next to them: wearing a dark shirt and a light vest, a brown hat covering the bald head.

“What’s taking you so long? We gotta head out before–“ His eyes meet Nick’s and he stops. “Oh, you got a guest.”

“Sorry for the intrusion, Sir,” Nick repeats, now feeling even more uncomfortable than before, being in the center of everyone’s attention. “I’m Nick Clark.”

“Jeremiah Otto,” the old man replies, shaking Nick’s hand. “You a friend of Troy’s?” His eyes dart to Bartholomew. So it’s Troy. Troy’s the real name! Nick suddenly feels strangely euphoric at this partial victory and turns his head to Troy. Troy looks back at him with that same solemnity – after all, he just learned Sean Rhys’s real name as well.

“Actually,” Nick eventually replies, finally turning back to Mr. Otto, “I’m more of an acquaintance. We accidentally ran into each other at a hardware store in San Diego and he told me about this place.” Nodding at the ranch. “I had to see it with my own eyes.”

“You like what you see?” Mr. Otto wants to know.

“Very much so, Sir,” Nick replies. “It’s amazing what you have built here.”

Mr. Otto gives him a long look, then nods. “Whatcha doin’ for a livin’, son?”

“Ah, construction firm, actually,” Nick replies, scratching his head with an embarrassed smile.

Mr. Otto however seems impressed. “Office or on site?”

“On site,” Nick explains.

“Man of practice, huh?” The elderly man gives him a smirk. “Well, we got one or two fixer-uppers around here as well…”

 “Yeah, I noticed,” Nick can’t help confessing with a sheepish grin, immediately however regretting it, realizing it might’ve come across an insult.

Luckily, however, Mr. Otto doesn’t seem to think so. Instead, he starts laughing. He pats Troy’s shoulder. “Speaks his mind, I like him.” Then he turns to Nick once more. “Well, we gotta go, but take a look around our ranch. You’re welcome to stay as long as you want.”

“Thank you, Sir,” Nick replies happily, returning the smile almost a little proud.

Mr. Otto turns around and heads for the truck, Troy about to follow him.

“Wait, Troy,” Nick calls after him, and it feels strange and unfamiliar, hearing this name in his voice.

Troy stops and looks at him.

“Can I see you later? I still owe you that coffee…”

Troy’s expression seems neutral. “We won’t be back until afternoon.”

Nick shrugs. “I don’t mind.”

For a moment, Troy just looks at him. Then he shrugs, ostensibly unfazed. “Okay,” he agrees. “But I won’t have that much time. I’m supposed to have dinner with my girlfriend.” He nods towards one of the toolsheds, where there’s a young woman with a blonde ponytail wielding a rake.

His words hit Nick like a knife and he feels a painful heat crawling up his back. _A girlfriend?! He has a girlfriend?! Oh God, no!! This can’t be true!!_

Immediately, he feels like a total idiot… _Of course he has a girlfriend… Just look at him!_ He was such a fool to assume Troy was available. He was stupid to not even consider the possibility he might not be. Now Nick has come out here, drove hundreds of miles to this place in the middle of nowhere, to chase down someone that’s already taken. What a sorry tragedy…

“Cool,” he just replies instead, gathering all his composure to keep up the smile. “See you later, then.”

“Yeah, see you later,” Troy replies, then joins Mr. Otto on the pickup.

It will be the last Nick sees of him, he knows it. Cause even though he just claimed otherwise, “later” definitely’s not gonna happen.

 

So this is the end of their short, but mostly imaginary romance. What a shame…

Nick’s used to disappointments, there have been so many already in his life. At least until that fateful wake-up call three years ago, after which he got his job, his apartment, a new life. A new love would have been the icing on the cake, but apparently it wasn’t supposed to be. At least not with Troy.

_Swallow your pain_ , Nick, he thinks to himself. _There’s someone waiting for you, even if it isn’t him._

There’s no way Nick will wait for Troy to return, but he did come all the way out here, so at least he decides to have lunch at the big mass hall in the center of the ranch.

The cook – a middle-aged woman named Mrs. Andrews – seems like a very nice person, greeting the guest with sympathy and even giving him an extra scoop of soup. He accepts with a grateful smile, before sitting down at one of the tables outside to drown his sorrow in food.

He’s eventually joined by another person, however, and of all people, it’s Troy’s girlfriend.

“Hey there,” she greets with a friendly smile. “Mind if I join you? Saw you earlier with Troy and Jeremiah. You a guest here?”

“Sort of,” Nick replies, a bit reserved. “Name’s Nick.”

The woman smiles. “I’m Charlene.”

“You’re Troy’s girlfriend,” Nick states, saying this out loud actually hurting more than anticipated.

“Sorry?” She blinks at him. “He’s my cousin.”

_Oh dear_ , Nick thinks to himself. It is indeed a very rural place…

“Well, not actually cousin,” she goes on with a shrug. “His dad’s my godfather, so we’re not _actually_ related. But we grew up like cousins.”

“Aha,” is all Nick replies. He honestly couldn’t care less on whether they’re actually related or not.

“Who told you I was his girlfriend?” Charlene asks.

Nick looks up from his soup bowl, blinking. “Troy did,” he explains, not really getting why she would ask something like that.

For several moments, Charlene just stares at him, then swallows audibly. “Oh… _right_ … Yeah, he’s my boyfriend…” Giving me a strangely embarrassed and helpless laugh. “As I said, we’re not really related and… uhm… this is really fresh…”

“So fresh you don’t even remember?” All of a sudden, Nick takes the bait, lowering his spoon.

“Gosh…” Charlene bumps her forehead on the table. “I’m a horrible friend…”

Or maybe you’re not! Nick finds it hard to breathe as suddenly the truth hits him like a bolt of lightning. So there’s no girlfriend, he just made it up to… _whatever_?! Push him away? Keep him at a distance?

A new hope’s dawning inside Nick, the battle isn’t lost yet! He may just need a different tactic.

In a way, it all fits with everything that’s happened so far: Maybe Troy’s hiding in the closet, maybe he’s just shy. But being too clear about his intentions may not be the best way for Nick to get a chance. Maybe it would be best to win his trust casually, give Troy the chance to get to know him. To come to like him.

So about ten minutes later, Nick’s strolling across the ranch once more, smartphone in his hand. As far as he can see it, there are two options on how to approach this. He could either pretend he _actually_ came here because he was interested in survivalist life and the ranch itself, not Troy, to take the pressure off their relationship – and considering how excited Troy got when he told him about his home at the café, it might be a smart way to win his sympathies. Alternatively, he could try to negotiate a commission for his company – his boss would definitely be delighted and working here would give him an excuse to keep seeing Troy and get to know him better.

Opening the CrowdClue app, he submits his question.

_I wanna become friends with my crush so badly! Any advice?_

Either way, “later” is so gonna happen after all!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your turn again :)  
> Vote "Show interest in the things he cares about!" or "Find a way to spend more time with him!" at  
> <http://pollmaker.vote/p/7Y9GXIFS>  
> (Voting is anonymous and doesn't require any registration.)  
> Majority wins!


	5. The Grand Tour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, looks like things are slowly but surely starting to get interesting now ;)  
> Thanks to everyone who voted, it's always so exciting to see your results :) Can't wait to see what you wanna go for this time!

Good thing Troy and Mr. Otto won’t return until afternoon, Nick realizes, since that’s about as long as it takes for his phone to finally submit the CrowClue question and receive the results. Yep, mobile reception isn’t _exactly_ the best out here…

He’s glad once the statistics finally pop up on his screen: _Show interest in the things he cares about!_ (64%)

Not the clearest result so far, Nick has to admit, but still, the tendency is obvious – and it matches his gut feeling. So a little modification to the truth it’ll be, to even just get the _chance_ to gain the sympathy and trust of this handsome, mesmerizing boy.

Going all in with his new plan, Nick immediately starts putting the afternoon to good use. Cause if he wants to be convincing on this, it wouldn’t make much sense to just sit around and waste his time. So he starts exploring the ranch on his own.

Most people he encounters are very friendly and open, addressing him once they notice him watch them go by their daily chores. The huge man with the bald head he spotted earlier for example introduces himself as Coop, when Nick runs into him again at the garage. Turns out, he’s actually a mechanic from San Diego who always had a connection to this place since a family his parents used to be friends with has been living here for decades. The general world affairs eventually made it clear to him that a huge clash of our civilization was long overdue, so he decided to move here as well about five years ago. A determined, confident man with an enjoyable dry sense of humor. If that’s the kind of people living here, Nick can totally understand why this place works as smoothly as apparently it does.

Not quite as down-to-earth, but certainly no less sympathetic is the old woman living in that little house on the hillside, Martha. Her husband is actually one of the founding fathers of this place, so she has been here longer than most of the other people. She, too, is a very kind and open-hearted person, patiently talking to Nick about this place for almost half an hour. He can’t deny the immediate fondness he feels for her little one-room adobe that may seem a bit small for two people, but – as Martha insists – all of the ranch is their home, so in fact they have a more spacious home than many kings.

With all this knowledge, Nick finds himself well equipped as around half past five, the pickup Troy and Mr. Otto left with returns, heading for the garage.

Troy already spots him from afar, giving him a curt nod. _I haven’t forgotten about you. I’ll be there in a minute._ And yet, Nick can’t shake off the feeling that meeting up with him is actually more of an obligation to Troy than an actual pleasure. Hopefully, he’ll be able to change that.

“Took us a bit longer than planned, sorry,” Troy says as he finally approaches his guest. “You shouldn’t have waited.” Implying: You probably won’t be getting anything out of this anyway.

Nick holds his eyes, unfazed. “What do you mean, _wait_? I had a very busy afternoon.”

“Busy?” Troy raises his eyebrows.

“Of course, taking a look around the ranch,” Nick explains, making it sound as if Troy was being silly asking. “What I came here for.”

He’s apparently indeed surprised to hear this. “I thought you came here because you thought you owed me that coffee.”

“I _also_ came here because I owed you that coffee,” Nick corrects him. “But driving all this way just for a cup of coffee? That would be a bit ridiculous, don’t you think?”

That indeed causes Troy to startle in surprise. “You came here… because of the ranch?”

“What else?” Nick counters. “Told you I’d googled it, after you’d told me so much about it.”

“For real?” Troy’s still perplexed. “I’d sort of assumed…” He trails off eventually, probably realizing it may have indeed been a little presumptuous to assume Nick had come here just for him. The realization that this wasn’t the case doesn’t seem to disappoint him, though. Instead, he looks almost relieved – paradoxically the very reaction Nick had hoped for.

His eyes even seem to light up a little as he looks back at Nick, still in disbelief. “Then why didn’t you say so earlier?” he wants to know, shaking his head softly.

“Tried to,” Nick defends with a shrug, “but first you cut me off, then Mr. Otto interrupted us and snatched you away.”

Troy grows quiet, looking back at him a little sheepishly.

Nick shakes his head amicably. “It’s okay, though. I found my way around. I mean, after all, with everything you told me about this life you’re living here, I couldn’t stop thinking of it. Compared to my own, blunt every day routine… This – growing crops and living in such close touch with nature – it just makes so much more sense than our narrow-minded city life.”

There’s a smile curving Troy’s lips as Nick says this. “So what did you think?”

“It’s amazing,” Nick replies, nodding at their surroundings. “I mean, the lodgings, the vehicles, the solar technology you’re using… And the people living here, so grounded and open-hearted. Martha for example. Sweet old lady. She knows everything there is to know about this place.” He drops bits and pieces of the information he’d gathered in the afternoon, to illustrate his interest in the ranch was genuine.

All of this absolutely has the desired effect on Troy: The more Nick talks about the things he found out and the things that impressed him, the friendlier and more sympathetic his expression becomes.

“And Coop,” Nick finishes eventually, “was even as nice as to give me a little tour.”

“Coop?” Troy interrupts him with a dismissive snort, frowning. “No, no, no, no…” Insisting: “ _I’ll_ give you the tour.”

 _Hello there, Jackpot._ Inwardly, Nick can’t suppress a smirk. Oh, ain’t he a sly fox! He’d never expected his plan to work out this smoothly.

On the outside, however, Nick keeps up his cool and unimpressed demeanor. “Sure, why not? Who knows, maybe there’s actually one or two aspects that you can add to Coop’s extensive explanations.” Incenting him even more.

“Oh, _please_!” Troy counters quickly. “Coop’s living in such a small world when it comes to the Big Picture. _I’m_ the expert on this place, trust me.” He turns around, beckoning Nick to follow him. “Come on, I’ll give you the Grand Tour.”

With a satisfied grin on the inside, Nick doesn’t move an inch. _Sorry, my friend. I won’t let you off the hook that easily._ “Weren’t you supposed to have dinner with your girlfriend?”

Troy freezes immediately, the excitement vanishing from his eyes, like a light being switched off. Now, he’s genuinely disappointed. “Oh, yeah, right…”

Nick stays chipper. “How about tomorrow morning, then? Coop said I could spend the night in the bunkhouse, in case I wanted to stay the weekend.”

Eyes suddenly hopeful, Troy looks up at him. “You’ll still be around tomorrow?”

Smiling back at him amicably. “Well, I couldn’t leave without having had the Grand Tour, could I.”

At that, Troy actually shoots him a smile. “Cool. Tomorrow morning then?”

He can’t help returning it. “Tomorrow morning.”

 

***

 

The next day, Troy shows up at the bunkhouse early – earlier than any man waking up next to his girlfriend ever would. Nick can’t suppress a little chuckle at that.

In all honesty, the bunkbed had been miles from his usual level of convenience, so needless to say, he had better nights. But hell, it was worth it.

Troy’s a changed person, less reserved now, far more talkative and open, and as they roam the ranch together for hours, they’re both losing themselves in their little tour so badly, the morning goes by in no time. Every question Nick poses, every praise he gives to this place or the work the people living here have put into this, Troy always seems to take as a personal compliment.

So after they had lunch outside the big mass hall, he even lets Nick had back inside to get them both a cup of coffee.

“Not that I paid for it,” Nick admits with a smirk, “but it’s the gesture that counts, right?”

Troy replies with a grin.

And in the afternoon, when they’re both leaning on the fence to watch the cattle on the field, he even catches Troy glancing at him inconspicuously – just to hastily avert his eyes before Nick’s meet his.

“Nasty holes in the fence,” he hastily murmurs a bit randomly – apparently to draw off the attention – and kicks his shoe against a ramshackle spot in the wire mesh. “It’s even worse out there at the crops fields. Those freaking wild hogs use them to get in at night, making a feast of our harvest.” He pauses for a minute, then purses his lips. “Ah, was actually supposed to fix them today…” Shaking his head. “But I guess one additional night won’t make much of a difference.”

“Or we could fix them together?” Nick immediately suggests. “I mean, after all that ranch theory, how about a little practice lesson?”

This time, Troy seems a bit reluctant. “Well, we’d have to drive pretty far to reach the edge of the fence and since it’s already kinda late, I’m not sure if we would make it back till nightfall…”

In truth, however, this just makes Nick want to go even more. Just thinking of spending time alone with Troy in the middle of nowhere, underneath the starlit sky after they had such a sweet and fun day… Who knows what could happen?

He’s just about to reply, when all of a sudden, a voice calls and they both turn around.

“Hey, Troy, could you just give me a quick hand over here with this barrel?” It’s the young man with the hipster beard I spotted together with Coop yesterday. “Need to get this off the loading area, since I can’t really take it with me to Phoenix tomorrow… Oh.” He stops as he spots Nick. “Sorry, I didn’t wanna interrupt.”

“It’s okay,” Troy replies quickly. “This is Nick from L.A., he’s interested in the ranch.” Pointing at the other man. “Nick, this is my friend Mike.”

 _A friend? Oh, now that’s interesting!_ “Nice to meet you, Mike,” Nick says immediately, shaking Mike’s hand.

“Good to meet you, too, Nick,” the young man replies, then turns back to Troy. “Actually, we’re having drinks tonight to celebrate my last night here before college starts again. Coop will be there, and Jimmy and Liam… Wanted to invite you too, but…”

“I have a guest, Mike,” Troy counters quickly. “Next time.”

“Unless,” Mike’s eyes dart back to Nick. “You’re invited as well, of course. If you wanna learn more about this place, then you shouldn’t just learn of the labor. We’re having fun here, too.”

“Yeah, thank you, Mike,” Troy interrupts him quickly, maneuvering him towards the pickup and the barrel.

“Sounds fun,” Nick smiles, once Mike’s a few steps away. “So nice of him to invite me as well.”

“We really don’t have to,” Troy assures him. “It’s not like Mike will be gone forever.”

“Why not join them?” Nick shrugs. “As he said, would be nice to get to know the fun side as well.” He does have to admit, the thought of spending time alone with Troy in the nightly wilderness does have some kind of appeal, but so does having drinks with Troy and his friends, especially if there’s booze involved. After all, spending time with his friends, laughing and joking with them and having a drink or two – who knows what side of Troy Nick would be able to discover?

“I’m fine either way, it’s your choice,” Troy says eventually, heading off to follow Mike to the truck. Calling over his shoulder, “You’re the guest, Nick!”

Yeah, tough call… Both options have their own appeal. Probably another job for CrowdClue. Switching on his phone, he notices that out here at least there’s two bars on the reception quality icon – that’s twice as much as yesterday! Hopefully that means the results won’t take as long as last time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now this time I'm really curious :)  
> Vote "Romance time, alone in the starlit wilderness!" or "Fun time, having drinks with him and his friends!" at  
> <http://pollmaker.vote/p/DSHLPKCM>  
> (Voting is anonymous and doesn't require any registration.)  
> Majority wins!


	6. Truth or Dare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry it took me so long to finish the next chapter! My other fic's been keeping me a little busy, but now I've finally had the time to go on here as well!  
> Promise I'll make it up for the long wait with the next 2-3 chapters :) If you're making smart choices, that is ;)

Nick watches them unload the barrel from afar, working together in perfect sync, as if they’d done this a thousand times and didn’t even need words to communicate.

They must have known each other for years, maybe even all their lives, in case Mike grew up here at the ranch just like Troy. _Well, there is nothing suspicious about this, is it?,_ Nick thinks to himself. Anyone can have a best friend. It doesn’t mean Nick’s just gotten himself a rival. On the contrary: If Mike knows Troy so well, it would be nice to chat with him sometime. Would be interesting to hear what Mike has to say about his best friend, wouldn’t it?

Not tonight though, since CrowdClue has come up with a decision. _Romance time, alone in the starlit wilderness!_ (58 percent).

Nick can’t help smiling at this. That’s right. He might not be presented with a chance like this again anytime soon, whereas there’ll certainly be ample of time to get to know Troy’s friends once they’re a couple. _Okay, maybe not daydream too far into the future, haha…_ But hey, if he plays his cards right, who knows where the starlit wilderness will take them?

He switches off his phone’s screen and slips the device back into his pocket, as Mike heads off with the truck and Troy rejoins him by the fence.

“Sorry,” he murmurs, shaking his head in Mike’s direction. “He can be a little dependent sometimes…”

“Well, that barrel did seem pretty heavy,” Nick points out with an amicable smile. “You’ve been friends for a long time?”

“We basically grew up together, yeah,” Troy explains with a shrug. “Even though ever since…” He pauses unexpectedly, as if to reconsider what he was about to say. “Well, now that he’s moved to Phoenix, we don’t see each other that often anymore, but he sometimes comes to visit on the weekends.”

“Cool,” Nick replies nonchalantly, thoughts however still circling around the question of what Troy had originally been planning to say. He doesn’t get the chance to dwell on that for too long though, since Troy already looked back at him.

“What about you?” he wants to know. “I’m betting you got lots of friends back in L.A., too?”

“Oh, yeah, totally,” Nick replies automatically, that lie coming so naturally to him it almost scares him for a moment. Compared to him, Troy seems really well-integrated in the community here at the ranch, the fact that his friends invited him for drinks just now is proof. He just couldn’t bring himself to reveal the truth about his own sad life, cause really… he didn’t want Troy to think of him as some sorry, weird loner who’s still struggling to bounce back.

“I thought so,” Troy replies to that, even though the expression in his eyes doesn’t reveal too much enthusiasm.

That’s also one of Nick’s flaws: Once he starts, he’s not the most reliable judge on when to stop again. “Was actually pretty tricky to shake them off even for just this weekend. Usually we hang out in the city or meet to have drinks…”

“I hear you,” Troy immediately nods, just like Nick had expected. “My friends invite me to have drinks with them all the time, too…” Shrugging once more. “Speaking of which – I assume you’re in for the drinks tonight then?”

Perplexed, Nick blinks for a moment. Okay, he may have managed to make a good impression on Troy with this little lie, but he also regrets it in a way. Not only is Troy now assuming he was some kind of party animal who would never skip those drinks tonight, it also feels like Troy hasn’t really gotten to know the _real_ him – the _old_ him, maybe, but that version of himself doesn’t and shouldn’t exist anymore. It was the second casualty to be mourned that dreadful day, the second person to leave their life at the dusky halls of that abandoned church… He can never go back to being that version of himself anymore, so it wouldn’t be fair to lead Troy on.

“Well, I’d never say no to having drinks with friends,” Nick shoots him a crooked grin, “but in this case I’d actually go for repairing the fences.” That must have come across as one hell of a U-turn, so he quickly adds, “After all, I didn’t come here for fun, but to find out more about this place and the life here. So I think that practice lesson might actually be more valuable.”

To his relief, Troy seems surprised but in fact not too unhappy about this, so hopefully at least for now his little modification of the truth won’t have too much of a consequence.

Shooting him a skeptical look still. “If that’s okay with you, that is.”

Troy’s expression turns into a sweet smile, one that Nick actually enjoys very much. He should do that more often, it suits him. “That’s very much okay.”

 

***

 

Not even ten minutes later, they’re both sitting in Troy’s pickup, heading for the damaged segment of the fence that keeps the wild hogs from feasting on the crops. It’s pretty far outside indeed, just like Troy had warned him, as it takes them nearly twenty-five minutes to get there. Since they’ve already established at Starbucks that they don’t share the same taste in music, the car radio stays off. But even though they don’t talk much, the silence between them never feels uncomfortable – a fact that gets Nick to realize once more how much they feel destined for each other.

Turns out there’s not just one hole in the fence, but several actually, many of them becoming apparent only as Troy and Nick inspect the fence more thoroughly.

“Shit, I hadn’t expected for this to be so much work,” Troy growls as he crouches down to take care of the first hole, a reel of wire in his hands. “I should have come here earlier, the sun’s already setting…” He shakes his head, then gets to work. “Can you hand me the pincers?” he asks over his shoulder, startling however as he unexpectedly doesn’t find Nick standing behind him.

“Just a sec,” Nick grins at him, kneeling a few steps to Troy’s right. “I’m done with them right away.”

He can practically feel Troy’s eyes widen in surprise as he spots Nick getting to work on another hole himself, cutting the pieces of wire he needs before handing the pincers to Troy.

“I thought you wanted me to give you a practice lesson,” Troy says slowly.

Nick can’t help grinning. “I didn’t come here to be your assistant, Troy. I came here to _help_. That counts as practice too, in my opinion.”

“Well, I won’t say no to an extra pair of hands,” Troy replies, apparently nonchalantly, when in truth, the impressed smile that starts lighting up his face makes it obvious Nick just scored a _whole bunch_ of points with him.

So extremely content with himself, Nick turns his attention back to the wire, enjoying how they’re working next to each other like this, both equally skilled and diligent as they weave the wire into the fence. He hopes that Troy feels it too, this bond they share as their minds focus on a common goal, like colleagues, like teammates, like friends.

 

Even though with both of them working on the fence they were twice as fast as Troy would have been on his own, they had to use flashlights to be able to fix the final holes before calling it a day.

So when their work was finally done and they returned to the car, Nick noticed there was indeed a beautiful sky right above them, stars twinkling like a sea of diamonds at the bottom of the pitch black ocean.

“Not drinks, but at least something to drink,” Troy suddenly says and as Nick turns around, he spots the older man holding a can of coke to him.

Not realizing until now how thirsty he’s actually been, Nick accepts gratefully, opening the can with a quick movement of his fingers. He takes a big gulp, then sighs and smiles back at Troy contently. “I’ve never seen the stars shine this brightly ever before.”

That gets Troy to laugh quietly, as he heaves himself to sit on the loading area. “You poor city folks,” he murmurs with an amused grin. “Your city shines a thousand times brighter than this and yet, you always marvel at the lights of nature.”

“Yeah, of course, to you this is nothing special,” Nick counters with an amicable shrug, sitting down on the edge of the loading area next to Troy. “You’re spoiled.”

“ _You’re_ spoiled,” Troy counters quickly. “You head into the supermarket and come out again with a trunk full of everything you need. Without a single drop of sweat.”

“I always sweat carrying crates,” Nick replies instantly, shooting Troy a goofy grin. “But I get what you’re saying. In that regard, this weekend has indeed been a revelation.”

He feels Troy gazing at him from the side for a while, then, almost a bit nervously, the other man asks: “So you liked your weekend here? You’ve seen and learned everything you came here for?”

“It was great,” Nick nods immediately, elegantly ignoring the part of the question that focused on whether he’d achieved everything he’d came here for. “I got the perfect impression on what kind of life you’re leading out here. So yeah,” he shrugs. “Let’s see what happens.”

For a few moments, Troy doesn’t reply. Then, as calm as before, he asks: “Why did you come here in the first place?”

Nick blinks at him, convinced they’d already established that. Turns out however, this isn’t what Troy was going for.

“Why do you even care about this life we’re living here?” he continues, eyes not leaving Nick’s face for a second. “Why are you considering quitting your old life?”

Whew. A whole bunch of questions, one trickier than the other, considering the truthful answer would be: It’s just pretense.

Or is it? Did he actually feel nothing, seeing those people live and work there at the ranch in such perfect harmony? Did he actually feel nothing, mending the fence side by side with Troy? Did he actually feel nothing gazing at those stars that shine brighter than they ever could above L.A.?

Troy shakes his head at him, trying so hard to read him. “Who are you, Nick Clark? Why did you come here?”

“To be honest,” Nick replies, surprising himself by saying those words. “There was a wake-up call in my life not long ago… It made me question a lot of things about myself, made me want to start over. Maybe… Maybe that’s the reason why I’m actually here.”

Holding his eyes for a while, Troy eventually opens his mouth to reply, when all of a sudden, a voice engulfed by static cuts through the night.

“Troy? Are you still out?” It’s Mike’s voice coming from the radio. “Are you joining us for the drinks or not?”

Troy slowly lets out the breath he just took, then purses his lips at Nick apologizing. “Just a sec.”

“No worries,” Nick replies, as Troy slides off the loading area, heading for the driver seat. To be honest, he was grateful for the interruption, since he’d been on the verge of actually telling Troy about the darkness of his past.

But did he really want Troy to know? On the one hand, yes, since lying about his “many friends” had felt so wrong in the first place and pretending to be someone else would set an awful basis for a potential relationship.

On the other hand: They haven’t known each other for long, so shouldn’t he rather be trying to make a good impression on Troy? What if he couldn’t accept those things about Nick and in consequence their story came to an end much too soon? Wouldn’t it be better to strengthen their bond first so it might be strong enough to endure his dark confessions?

The next dilemma of the day, Nick realizes with a sigh, hurrying to pull out his phone, as Troy’s still in the middle of canceling with Mike.

_My crush has just started digging for my (not exactly glorious) past. What should I do?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your turn again :)  
> Vote "Be honest and open" or "Stay vague" at  
> <http://pollmaker.vote/p/FZ9PD84P>  
> (Voting is anonymous and doesn't require any registration.)  
> Majority wins!


	7. Changing Moments

_Be honest and open (80 percent)._ Nick closes his eyes as he switches off his smartphone, slipping it back into his pocket. Of course. It’s the advice he’d expected and yet – at the bottom of his heart – he’d been hoping for the other option. Tell Troy about the darkness of his past… Is he really up to that?

For a few seconds, the faces of people in his life flash before his inner eyes. His Mom. Her boyfriend Travis. His sister Alicia. All giving him the look of disappointment, of hurt. He’d disappointed them, and no matter how much they pretended to be encouraging and understanding around him, no matter how much he’s changed ever since, he knew they would never _truly_ look at him the same ever again.

Could he really bear seeing that same look in Troy’s eyes, the one who knows nothing about his past, who treats him just like anyone else? Could he really risk causing this to change?

“Sorry…” Troy’s voice startles Nick for a second, then, taking a glimpse over his shoulder, he spots the older man returning, hopping back on the edge of the loading space to sit next to Nick. “Should have turned the radio off, but I forgot.”

“No, _I’m_ sorry,” Nick counters hastily. “I’m keeping you from having a good time with your friends.”

Troy however just shoots him a smirk, shrugging. “Are you?” The look in his eyes is playful, the question however fully serious. _Am I not spending time with a friend? And aren’t we having a good time?_

 _Yeah_ , Nick thinks to himself, feeling the implication of Troy’s words put a smile on his face, the subtle compliment evoking a strange, pleasant warmth in his heart.

Troy returns the smile, and God, why is this moment making Nick so happy? Troy’s gorgeous when he smiles, Nick realizes, the gentle silver moonlight reflected in his dark blue eyes not exactly helping to dampen that impression. The calm, pleasantly warm summer evening breeze gently tugging at his hair. His fair skin looking almost a little pale out here in the night, the diligently trimmed stubbles giving him a rogue-ish touch. He’s a sight to see, there’s no doubt about that. And the thought makes Nick almost a little melancholic. It would be so nice… so nice if he was the one for him…

“You were interrupted,” Troy points out eventually, bringing Nick back to reality. “You were about to tell me about this wake-up call of yours that changed your life.”

“Yeah, right,” Nick stammers immediately, taking in a deep breath to say what he’d been about to say – but the words are stuck in his throat. Eye to eye with those incredibly beautiful eyes, all of his courage and resolution crumbles into dust.

 _I can’t do it. I’m sorry, Crowd_ , Nick thinks to himself, crestfallen on the inside. _I want to heed your advice so badly, I do! But I can’t. I couldn’t bear to see those eyes looking at me differently. I just can’t._

 “I took school a bit too lightly during my final exams,” he forces himself to say eventually. “Made it hard to find a good job after graduation, so I spent months lurking around at home, doing nothing.” He looks away, seemingly casually, but in truth he’s unable to hold Troy’s eyes as he tells his lie, a toned-down version of his failures. “Maybe I’d given up hope, maybe I’d lost faith in my own abilities. But one day, my dad’s former colleague approached me, offering me a job in his company. After everything, he still believed in my potential. That was my wake-up call.” He nods to himself, as if to confirm his own story. “I realized there was more to my life than just disappointments. There was an actual world waiting out there for me, and he gave me the chance to become a part of it.” At least this part of the story is actually true, he reminds himself, struggling to push aside the disappointment over his own cowardice.

“I get that feeling,” Troy suddenly says, making Nick almost wince in surprise.

The other man’s eyes are distant, sternly gazing over the nightly plains. Only once he notices Nick’s surprised look, he turns his head to him, his expression softening as he explains, “The wish to do something that actually matters, to broaden your horizon, to get _more_ from your life. Learn more, know more, do more. I feel the same.”

“But you already have a purpose here,” Nick points out, almost automatically. “You’re doing so much that _actually_ matters.”

There’s a quick smile curving Troy’s lips, then he shakes his head and casts down his eyes. “I love this place – my home – more than anything, yeah.” He shrugs. “But I’ve been living here all my life, day after day… I know every house, every face, every stone. I dunno. Sometimes I think there has to be a greater purpose, more than just this. Like…” he shakes his head, searching for the right words, “like I’m still waiting for _my_ wake-up call. Like… something that normally _should_ have happened, just… hasn’t. Something that would have changed my life. “

Nick looks at him from the side. “Why don’t you follow Mike’s example and attend college? You could take a shot at something entirely new after that?”

“College? Nah…” Troy purses his lips. He gives Nick a long look, hesitant, as if he wasn’t sure if he should go on, but then just shrugs and does. “I didn’t exactly graduate…”

At that, Nick pricks his ears. “Why not?”

That hesitant expression in Troy’s face returns, now making him look almost a little sheepish. “Got kicked outta school, to be honest.”

Nick’s eyes widen, and even though he doesn’t want to pry, he can’t help asking. “Why?”

“Well, my mom died in an accident when I was little…” Troy murmurs slowly. “I was an angry kid,” he admits. “One day, they searched my bag and found a gun.”

Oh _, wow…_ Nick lets out a deep breath. God, they are more similar than he’d ever guessed… Troy had been just as troubled a kid as himself…

Damn he told that lie!! Maybe Troy would have understood after all… Maybe he would have felt their connection as well.

But it’s not too late! “Actually,” Nick starts, now pursing his lips sheepishly as well, “I hadn’t been entirely honest when I said I nearly didn’t pass my graduation exams… Truth is, I didn’t graduate either, got expelled as well…”

That gets Troy to blink at him, now baffled in return. “Seriously? Why?”

Nick swallows, but goes through with it nevertheless. _Be honest and open._ This time, I will! “They searched my bag and found drugs…”

Troy seems surprised, but not shocked, as Nick had feared. Raising his eyebrows, he looks at him. “You were dealin’?”

“Also usin’,” Nick confesses, throat strangely dry for a moment. There it is. The dark secret has been revealed. “But I’m clean now,” he hastily points out. “Have been for years.”

For a while, Troy doesn’t reply anything and Nick starts to worry he’s lost him after all.

“I haven’t been entirely honest either,” Troy murmurs eventually, startling Nick once more. “My mom didn’t die in an accident. She was an alcohol addict. She drank herself to death.”

Oh my God, what is going on here? Nick can’t believe what’s happening. Step by step, they’ve come to reveal the truth about their past to each other, growing more trusting with each new revelation,  which in turn gives them the courage to open up even more once again. It’s like a game of give and take they’re playing here, a game in which they both might end up winners. It’s scary and mesmerizing at the same time.

Troy turns his head to Nick, giving him a soft nod. “So, I know my fair share about addiction. Good for you you managed to break free from that goddamned vicious circle.”

“In fact, my wake-up call hadn’t been my boss employing me, either,” Nick blurts out, suddenly feeling safe and confident enough to admit even that. “My true wake-up call was my girlfriend’s death. She overdosed.”

“Oh God…” Troy’s eyes widen in shock at that, but it’s not a dismissive shock. It’s an empathic one. “Sorry…”

“Yeah…” Nick murmurs slowly. “A person I loved, a person that had meant the world to me, was gone. Dead. For real. This wasn’t a game. This was real life. There were consequences. And for the first time, that realization hit me like a bolt of lightning.” Involuntarily he shudders as he thinks back to those dark times. “And even worse: I was about to make my family go through the same pain that she made me go through. I just couldn’t bear it… It was the worst kind of rehab – but also the most efficient. A person I loved basically gave her life, so I could live mine. What a terribly bad bargain… and what a burden. But I have to honor it. It’s all I got left to repay her.” Now finally looking up to meet Troy’s eyes. “That’s the real reason I changed my life. My boss employing me and believing in me helped, but it wasn’t the actual cause.”

Troy doesn’t reply to this at first. He just holds Nick’s eyes, not in a judging way, not in a reproachful way. But in a relieved, almost proud way. And that’s when Nick realizes it: His story is giving Troy hope that addiction doesn’t always have to be the end, like it was with his mother. It _can_ be overcome, if you just fight hard enough. And Troy’s grateful for that.

Nick eventually averts his eyes, suddenly fearing he might end up blushing if that moment lasted any longer. So eventually, he shakes his head helplessly. “I guess what I’m trying to say is,” pursing his lips pensively, “maybe it’s a good thing. That you haven’t had your changing moment yet. Cause there’s no guarantee a wake-up call like that is a good thing, and goes by entirely painless.”

“I guess not,” Troy replies, then however shoots Nick a stealth look from the side. “But then again, I guess there is no guarantee either it can’t be something good after all. You just can’t tell. And who knows… Maybe…” His eyes dart up to the stars. “Maybe my changing moment is already in full swing, and I just haven’t noticed it yet…”

The words make Nick wince on the inside, heart suddenly speeding up. Did he actually just imply what Nick thinks he did? He wants to reply something, affirm, _confirm_ the words in some way, but they just end up sitting there like this for a while in silence, a strange feeling of understanding, of familiarity drawing them close. The other boy’s warmth radiating against him, a melancholic feeling making his heart clench: Saddening and comforting at the same time.

Eventually, Troy shoots him a look, those mesmerizing blue eyes locking to his.

And for the tiniest of moments, Nick’s tempted to just lean in and kiss him.

But could he? Should he?! Or would that just ruin everything?? Maybe, but then again, with all that sympathy and familiarity that seems to be drawing them so close right now, with all the fun they had on their ranch tour today, working together, talking, opening up to each other, with them being alone out here under the starlit sky like this, a gentle breeze in the air and a tender smile on their lips – what if this is _exactly_ the right moment?

Of course, there is just no way he could raise his finger now, going all, “Wait a sec, I just need to check with a bunch of anonymous people on the internet about what to do next”, and turn his attention to his smartphone to consult CrowdClue.

But that’s not even necessary. In his heart, he knows exactly what their advice would be.

If he went ahead and posted the poll, “Having a significant moment with my crush. Suggestions?”, he’s absolutely convinced their answer would be…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big decision this time ;)  
> Vote "Take a chance and kiss him!" or "Go for something subtle, like "accidentally" brushing your hand against his!" at  
> <https://www.quiz-maker.com/poll1995391x614042Ab-54>  
> (Voting is anonymous and doesn't require any registration.)  
> Majority wins!


	8. Taking a Chance

If he went ahead and posted the poll, “Having a significant moment with my crush. Suggestions?”, he’s absolutely convinced their answer would be “Take a chance and kiss him!” – at least 61 percent would vote for that!

So come on! Take a chance!

And he does. Ignoring his crazily beating heart, he closes his eyes and – just like that – leans in and kisses him.

Though _kiss_ might actually be a bit much. It’s more like a peck on the lips, soft and sweet, but it’s the most he dares to risk on nothing but a hunch.

But wow, does it feel amazing! Troy’s lips are soft and warm, just like the summer breeze brushing through their hair and caressing their cheeks, and even though the touch sends shivers down his spine, his heart starts radiating with euphoria. He lets himself be carried away by the kiss for one blissful moment, forgetting all about the world around them. There’s just the two of them, under the twinkling starlit sky... The moment he’d longed for so badly has actually come, and his hurting, wounded heart is being surged with warmth… until– until…

Troy flinches and breaks away.

Nick hastily opens his eyes, and only at that moment he _actually_ realizes what he just did. Shocked and embarrassed at the same time, he turns away, stammering a quick “I’m sorry”.

“No, no, _I’m_ sorry,” Troy counters immediately – and to Nick’s utter surprise he neither sounds hostile nor upset, but actually looks at him with a gaze that’s basically a mixture of bafflement, puzzlement, bashfulness – and amusement. “I just…”

He doesn’t finish and Nick blinks at him with wide eyes – and it’s probably that moment they realize they’re both just as perplexed as the other, maybe even a little embarrassed. But the fact they’re apparently sharing those feelings of uncertainty, puts a soft smile on both of their faces.

“So, yeah…” Nick clears his throat eventually, sheepishly playing with the hem of his sleeve. “I guess I do have one more confession to make… It’s true that I came here because I was curious for the ranch, but…” Shooting Troy a guilty look. “It wasn’t the main reason.”

To his surprise, Troy’s eyes are warm and amicable. “Yeah, I uhm… I guess I already figured…” he admits, then eventually shrugs. “And cards on the table, I also got one more confession to make…”

Blinking, Nick looks at him curiously. “Yeah?”

Troy nods. “Charlene isn’t _actually_ my girlfriend… I don’t want you to think I’m an asshole.”

At that, Nick can’t help chuckling merrily. “In that case, I actually got another confession as well: I already know.” And adding with a crooked grin: “I don’t want _you_ to think I’m an asshole.”

Troy ends up snickering merrily at that, the giddy euphoria Nick feels apparently spreading to both of them.

“So I guess neither one of us really thought twice about telling the occasional tall tale…” Troy points out eventually. Even though objectively that wasn’t the best of traits, they couldn’t really blame each other, and in truth, admitting them one by one like this was in fact what brought them closer in the first place.

“No, I’m actually happy it wasn’t just me,” Nick admits with a grin. “But if there’s nothing more to confess, I’m also good with the truth from now on.”

“Sounds like a fair deal,” Troy agrees with a nod – and as Nick is rewarded with yet another one of Troy’s smiles, he can’t help feeling like the luckiest and most special person in the world, something he hasn’t felt in a long time.

_Thank you, God or destiny or anonymous online crowd – whoever it was that brought me here. I’ve been rewarded for not giving up._

The breeze now takes up a little, becoming a bit fresher, since the warming sunshine is long gone, and starts tugging at their clothes.

“It’s getting cold,” Troy points out eventually, nodding at the truck. “Shall we head home?”

“Yeah, I guess I should get going, anyway,” Nick nods. “Still got a bit of a ride ahead of me.”

Troy looks back at him, surprise, maybe also a little disappointment in his eyes. “You wanna drive back to L.A.? _Now_?”

Nick shrugs. “Gotta get to work tomorrow.”

“Yeah…” Troy admits quickly, “but it’s really late. Wouldn’t it be better to spend the night here and take the drive early in the morning? I mean, I’m not suggesting…” Suddenly stammering a little. “What I meant was…” Eventually, he clears his throat. “I meant you could spend another night at the bunkhouse, if you wanted to…”

Nick can’t help smiling at Troy’s struggle with the accidental suggestiveness. “Thanks, but it’s okay,” he assures him, shaking his head encouragingly. “I’ll be having the road all to myself anyway, and I’m not tired at all. On the contrary. I’d say my adrenaline level right now is pretty high…”

That gets him to chuckle, and a bit sheepishly he points out: “Tell me about it...”

 

They both get back in the truck and Troy drives Nick to his car, still parked at the ranch’s gates.

So eventually, the moment to say goodbye has come. And it’s an awkward one. They’ve spent such a beautiful and fun day with each other, yet they’re not really friends. They’ve kissed, yet they aren’t really lovers. So their goodbye ends up a weird mixture of feinted movements and hesitation: Nick going reluctantly for a hug, whereas Troy sticks to a waving gesture. As soon as he realizes what Nick had been about to do though, he tries to go for a hug as well. By then, however, Nick has already drawn back, so there’s quite a lot of reluctant fidgeting going on.

Eventually, they’re both looking at each other, starting to laugh at the awkwardness of the situation.

Then Nick holds his hand out to Troy. “It was a wonderful weekend, Troy. Thank you for your time.”

Troy looks at him for a moment, then he takes his hand and smiles. “Thank you for your time, Nick. It was a wonderful day, really.”

They keep looking into each other’s eyes for a few more seconds, then Nick lets go of his hand and turns around.

“Send me a text once you’re back home safely,” Troy calls and Nick pauses in his steps immediately.

“I don’t have your number!” he realizes with shock, looking at Troy over his shoulder.

“But I have yours,” Troy confesses with a mixture of confidence and guilt. “I’ll send you a text.”

Nick can’t help smiling. So he’d found the note Nick had slipped him at the café after all… And moreover: “I thought you didn’t have a phone!”

Troy shoots him a sheepish look. “Well, I guess we may not be done with the confessions after all…”

Nick can’t help grinning at that as he gets in the car and shuts the door. “Good night, Troy.”

“Drive safely,” Troy replies, watching Nick start the car, and leave, giving him one last wave through the window.

Troy gazes after him until the red lights of the car vanished in the distance.

“Don’t tell me it was him,” a voice suddenly says right next to him. Coop. “The mysterious Starbucks date.”

“Shut up, Coop,” Troy growls at his friend. And yet. As he stands there, gazing after the car, his eyes are sparkling with happiness.

 

***

 

It’s just as Nick predicted: The roads are empty and deserted, no one but the occasional vehicle passing him by. And he’s not tired at all. How could he be? He’d just shared an _actual_ kiss with his crush and hadn’t been rebuffed. They’d parted ways on good terms. Yesterday morning, he would have never believed there was an actual possibility in this world that both of those things could happen at the same time.

So now he finds himself in the car, a silly grin on his face, singing to every song they play on the radio from the top of his lungs – from Katy Perry to the Bee Gees. He doesn’t give a shit. He’s having a blast.

Around quarter past one, he’s finally steering the car into his parking space, a few moments later unlocking the door to his apartment. It’s gonna be a short night, yeah, but that’s alright. Strangely, this euphoria he’s feeling right now as well as the excitement about what the next days and weeks might bring, is actually giving him a motivation boost to give it his best at work – and this feels different from especially those past months, when he’d been yearning for some kind of changing moment so badly, even though he couldn’t tell what it was exactly that he was wishing for.

So in order to at least get as much sleep as possible, he immediately hurries to the bathroom for a catlick, before letting himself drop in his bed, still with that very same goofy grin on his face.

_Troy…_ he thinks with a dreamy smile, until that thought suddenly reminds him of something else, something he’d almost forgotten.

_Send me a text once you’re back home safely._

Riiight!! Blindly fishing for his phone on the nightstand, he eventually switches on the screen, the brightness illuminating his face in the darkness.

_2 New Messages_ , both from the same, long phone number.

Nick opens them with a pleasant nervousness.

The first one was sent at 10.33, shortly after Nick had left. “ _Here you go with the number. Hope you’re finally happy.”_

Nick can’t help chuckling, then clicks on the second one, sent just a quarter ago: “ _You home?”_

Almost automatically, Nick hits the reply button, starting to type right away: “Yup, back home safe and sound :) The roads were–“ He pauses and reconsiders, unhappy with the second sentence. He deletes the last three words again, taking a different try. “You still awake?“ Nah, that’s bullshit as well, considering he just texted him minutes ago.

Phew, it’s actually not that easy finding the right words to say for an important text after an important day…

Maybe the Crowd could help him with a few ideas?

He closes the text app and opens CrowdClue instead, creating another poll.

“Shared a kiss with my crush today – thanks to your encouragement, guys!! :-* Gotta close the day with a text. What do you think I should say?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your turn again!  
> Three options this time, and for the really creative amongst you also the possibility to come up with your own idea! Do you have a sweet, fun or creative reply in mind? Share it! If it fits the next chapter, I'll try to include it :)  
> <https://www.survey-maker.com/poll2005961x14744572-54>  
> (Voting is anonymous and doesn't require any registration.)  
> Majority wins!


	9. Long-Distance Romance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again - finally the next chapter!  
> So sorry it took me so long, but to make up for it, this one turned out a little longer than usual.  
> Thank you so much to everyone who took part in last chapter's poll - especially the ones coming up with custom text suggestions :) You rock!  
> I have to highlight one of the suggestions, though: That "the real star was you, no offense to the real stars" idea was absolutely amazing, sweet and heart-warming! Someone put a lot of thought and creativity into this, so I wanna put out a special thanks to whoever it was. Reading it made me smile and I tried to do it justice by giving it a special place in the story.

As usual, it didn’t take long until the first batch of responses popped up on his screen.

And indeed, people had decided on their favorite among the choices he’d given them. But that wasn’t all. Several respondents had also come up with ideas of their own, trying to lend him a hand in finding the right words to reply to his crush, after this wonderful, almost surreal turn of events.

He couldn’t help smiling at the different range of responses suggested. Some of them sweet, others flirty – and to be honest, his instinctive reaction had been to brush those latter ones off, thinking back to how directness in regards to his intentions had always backfired around Troy so far. But then he reminded himself that they’d just shared a _kiss_ , so hell, a bit of cheekiness couldn’t be wrong, could it?

_“Hey, handsome,”_ he typed on his phone, just like someone from the Crowd had advised. And adding another suggestion: “ _Can’t sleep yet?”_

Finger hovering above the “Send” button for a while, Nick hesitates staring at the reply he’d composed, eyes scanning the words again and again. No, it’s perfect! It’s flirty and nonchalant – much cooler than anything he would have come up with on his own. And that’s how he wants Troy to see him: strong and confident.

_Send._

The seconds go by and nothing happens at all. Maybe Troy’s already asleep by now after all?

_And he’s right to_ , Nick thinks to himself, knowing he should close his eyes as well instead of spending even more of his night waiting for a reply that may not come before morning. And yet, what harm could it do to give it a few more minutes?

Passing the wait, he lets his finger trace over Troy’s number, and only once the context menu pops up, he realizes he could make use of the time and save this precious sequence of digits in his contact list. He doesn’t get too far with it, though, since as soon as the dialogue asks for Troy’s last name, he’s already at a loss. Come to think of it, he doesn’t even know yet… Well, can’t be helped. He’ll just leave a blank on this information… unless… He finds himself smirking as suddenly an idea crosses his mind.

_Troy Bartholomew_ , he types, giving it a content smile – yup, that fits perfectly. And even more so as the contact is now listed under B, making it the topmost entry in his phone book, appearing even above his sister, Alicia Clark.

Gazing at the name some more and indulging in a blissful memory with a dorky smile on his face, his heart almost skips a beat as suddenly his phone starts buzzing in his hands, signaling an incoming message. _By Troy Bartholomew._

He almost ends up dropping the device – whether out of shock or excitement, he couldn’t tell –, then, finally, the message appears on his screen.

_“Apparently I’m not the only one... Good to know you made it back safely.”_

Grinning blissfully at that, he catches himself reading the lines over and over again. The blessings of modern technology… Somewhere, hundreds of miles away, those words were typed by someone thinking of him, and only him. An amazing, handsome man like Troy on top of it. He feels so lucky. So happy. And who knows, maybe someone hundreds of miles away is lying awake in the darkness as well right now, with the light of the screen illuminating that same goofy grin on their lips?

_“You were worried about me, how sweet ;)”_ Nick types after hitting the reply button. _“But there was really no reason to. Told you driving home would be a piece of cake :)”_

And this time it doesn’t take long until his phone buzzes again. _“Such a shame you had to leave again so soon. Hopefully your day at work tomorrow won’t be too stressful with too little sleep.”_

_“Don’t worry about it,”_ Nick replies, feeling this would be the perfect moment to work in the big CrowdClue recommendation the majority had agreed upon (39 percent). _“And even if that’s the case! It was totally worth it :) I mean, I had so much fun with you this weekend! Let’s meet again soon, cause I absolutely can’t wait to see you again! :)”_

This time, he’s actually a bit nervous as he sends that message, worrying a little Troy might not wanna see him again that soon. His uneasiness only increases as the next reply doesn’t come as fast as the previous one. Heart suddenly beating hard, he drops the phone to his chest, and with the screen covered, the room around him turns dark. Lying there in absolute blackness for a while, he almost physically flinches as the phone vibrates again. Hastily picking the device back up, he holds his breath as his eyes scan the message.

_“My brother’s gonna come visit next weekend... But do you have any plans the weekend after?”_

The weekend after? Nick can’t help letting out a giggle of joy. So he does wanna see him again! And the date’s excellent, too. He wouldn’t have managed next weekend either, since Saturday is Travis’s birthday and his mom would never allow for him to miss it. At the same time, hearing that Troy would cancel spending time with him in favor of his brother sounds like a sympathetic reason.

So by suggesting the weekend after, Troy’s basically picking the earliest date possible … And that realization makes Nick’s heart skip a beat with joy. So it’s not just him! This attraction _is_ mutual! Troy is thrilled to see him again just as much.

_“Well, I guess now I do ;)”_ he types with the widest of grins on his face.

And seconds later comes Troy’s reply: _“Then it’s a date.”_

Awesome, he thinks, feeling a pleasant warmth and euphoria surge over his entire body. He knows this means their late night conversation would probably be over now, but to be honest, he’s simply too happy to sleep. He feels the urge to add something significant, something charming, something to let Troy know how much all of this means to him.

And so he starts typing, putting his heart into words, until he’s drafted one final text. Reading over it again, he smiles. Yeah, that’s perfect. The essence of what he’s feeling right now. _“Thanks again for everything. I honestly had so much fun with you! The ranch was great, totally, but I think the real star of the place was you :D No offense to the actual stars ofc, you know, the ones in the sky… Ok, I better stop talking now, I hope you have a great night :)”_

And he hits the send button.

Deciding he’s made his point and it’s really time to call it a night, he switches off his phone, putting it on the nightstand. Then he rolls over to his side, pulling the blanket with him and nuzzling his face into his pillow with a smile on his lips.

He’s just about to fall asleep when his phone buzzes again.

And whether he wants to or not, he could never fall asleep now with the suspense of what Troy might have replied to this. So hastily he grabs the device on the nightstand, tilts it towards him and switches on the display.

_“You’re funny, Nick Clark… but for the record, you’re wrong. I’ve grown up seeing those stars, so I guess it’s safe to say I’m the expert on them. And I can confirm they’ve never shined so bright before, with you around.”_

 

***

 

The next day, Nick indeed spends a significant amount of his morning yawning, putting him in the line of fire of his colleagues’ teasing: Immediately suspecting Nick had “a late night” with some acquaintance of his (which is objectively true, even though in a different way than what they think), they keep making jokes about it all morning. So when Nick returns from his lunch break bringing a package of chocolate bars, they feel their theory confirmed – but at the same time, the clever guy he is, he also managed to finagle their approval.

Once he’s returned home that evening, he notices with delight he’s gotten a new message from Troy. And a picture on top of it! Super excited to see what it could be, he hastily opens it, immediately letting out a quick laugh.

It’s a photo of the fence they worked on yesterday – but once again, there are several holes visible. The text underneath it reads: _“Apparently we weren’t too diligent…”_

He hits the reply button immediately, snickering as he types: _“Well, tbh, I may have been a little distracted ;) But I’m sure you did a great job making up for it today.”_

_“Sure,”_ comes the reply, _“even though it wasn’t half as fun as working on it with you!”_

So over the course of the following days, there’s quite the texting relationship developing between the two young men, both of them regularly sending photos or texts, giving each other glimpses into their everyday lives.

On Thursday, when Nick checks his phone during his lunch break, he’s already gotten another message from Troy: This time a photo of lettuce plants on a field, followed by a text:

_“So you don’t think fixing the fence is all I ever do out here!”_

_“Oh, used to do a lot of that too when I was a little kid,”_ Nick replies, adding a screenshot of an ancient version of Harvest Moon.

_“Come on!!”_ comes Troy’s reply immediately. _“Moving your thumbs doesn’t count as physical labor.”_

_“Well, I’m sure there’s a Wii version by now,”_ Nick replies, chuckling to himself. _“You should try it sometime.”_

_“You should try real life,”_ Troy replies quickly. _“That’s enough hard work for my taste.”_

_“Oh, I’m trying real life,”_ Nick counters, now finally moving towards the sofa to sit down. _“Check this out.”_ He opens his camera roll, sending Troy a photo of an unfinished building, bare water pipes visible between crumbling bricks.

_“Real-life botch-up at a construction site”_ , he titles.

_“Hopefully that wasn’t you!”_ Troy comments.

_“Haha no, we’re the ones that get to clean up those amateurs’ mess…”_

_“How do you do that?”_ Troy wants to know.

Nick snorts. _“What do you think?”_

The next reply doesn’t reach him until twenty minutes later _. “Now that’s what *I* used to do a lot as a kid,”_ Troy writes.

And the picture going with that makes Nick laugh: A photo of an old game of Jenga.

 

***

 

With all the texting and the constant contact, Nick starts to feel closer to Troy than ever before – like he’s getting to know him more and more every day, even if it’s just via their phones. With every message sent and received, there’s something new about Troy Nick discovers, be it some new aspect about his sense of humor, his daily chores or the things he likes or dislikes. All of those little details add up to a whole, like puzzle pieces creating a picture – and he finds himself increasingly liking that image that is slowly being unveiled, step by step.

So even on Saturday, when he’s visiting his family to spend the day with his mom, her boyfriend Travis, his sister Alicia and their neighbors Susan and Patrick Tran, he can hardly resist checking his phone for new messages every time he heads for the bathroom or gets to spend a few minutes on his own.

Like in the afternoon, for example, when Nick ends up sitting outside on one of the garden chairs, waiting for the others to join him with drinks, the first thing he does is pull out his phone to check for any news from Troy. Nothing, he notices, almost a little disappointed. Well, he shouldn’t be surprised. After all, Troy’s busy spending the day with his brother, too, so it’s probably just as tricky for him to check for messages as it is for him.

He doesn’t get to dwell on it too long, as all of a sudden, a pair of arms wrap around him from behind.

“Waiting for a message?” his sister asks, shooting him an amused grin.

Hastily, as if she’d caught him on something, he lets the device slip back into his pocket. “No, I was just bored waiting for you…”

But Alicia’s too smart to be fobbed off by a half-hearted reply. “There’s something different about you today,” she points out softly, letting herself drop into the chair next to his. “You seem happier than usual, more chipper.”

“You’re seeing things,” Nick starts again, shooting her his most innocent smile. “I’m always chipper.”

But Alicia doesn’t even listen. “Who did you take that picture of Travis’s birthday cake for?”

“Weeelll,” Nick groans, for a moment actually considering telling her the truth. But how would she react? So far, the only ones she ever knew about were Zoe and Gloria. How would he explain his new crush being a boy?

“Sooo?” Alicia raises her voice, wriggling her eyebrows at him with curiosity.

Nick ends up swallowing hard. Then he takes a deep breath. “Well–“

“Alicia?” Travis calls from the house. “How do you connect the stereo with the outdoor speakers?” He’s trying to put on some music for their “garden party”.

She just rolls her eyes at her brother with a fond look, then heads back inside. “Coming…”

Nick lets out a sigh as soon as she’s gone. Not wasting a second, he pulls out his phone again, sending the photo of Travis’s birthday cake to Troy. _Look what I indulged in today :))_

But it’s more of an automatic routine. Cause in reality, his mind is already somewhere else. Alicia is suspecting something, and she won’t let go of it, that’s for sure… But would he really be ready to tell her about his… whatever it is that Troy is to him? Would he really be ready to let her know he was dating a man, even if there was no way of telling yet if anything would ever come out of it in the first place? Maybe filling her in would be too soon? But then again, this joy he’s been feeling that past week has been so amazing and it’s been ages since the last time he felt that way. Having someone to talk to about that to would be amazing, he can’t deny it... But would his sister really be able to accept it?

A tricky choice, once again, and like so many times before, having an outside perspective on this might be worth a mint once again!

Switching on his phone again, there’s still no reply from Troy, as to be expected. So instead, he opens the CrowdClue app, typing his question.

_"My sister’s curious on whom I’ve been texting all day (i.e. my crush). What should I tell her?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your turn!  
> Vote "A boy you like!", "A very nice person you met a few weeks ago" or "One of your colleagues" at  
> <https://www.quiz-maker.com/poll2028296x1c9a42E1-55>  
> (Voting is anonymous and doesn't require any registration.)  
> Majority wins!


	10. A Beer and a Zombie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another big chapter this time, but Alicia and Nick's siblings time shouldn't be rushed, right? :)  
> Hope you'll enjoy!

He feels his phone buzzing as the poll results come in – and for a second, it even seems like the entire garden had started vibrating. _God, today’s mobile phones sure are powerful_ , Nick thinks to himself for the blink of an eye, until he notices the music. Alicia and Travis must have managed to connect the stereo to the outdoor speakers – and the according subwoofer.

After like five seconds of “Smoke on the Water” at eardrum-shattering volume, they hastily adjust the settings and turn down the music to a more agreeable level, followed by Travis’s rather sheepish “Sorry!!”.

Nick notices several of their neighbors, who have gathered behind their windows to peek at them with reproachful looks, lose interest again and turn away, as the radio goes on innocently with the rest of the song, providing some nice background music and actually managing to conjure up a surprisingly authentic party atmosphere in the Clarks’ little garden.

Alicia runs her hand through her hair to brush back a few rebellious honey-colored strands, then grins as she rejoins her brother by the garden chairs.

“He’s got it now,” she announces, not without shooting Nick a mocking grin.

“Yeah,” Nick replies with a smirk. “I _heard_ that.”

She chuckles, though not letting him out of her sight. “Too bad _I_ didn’t hear an answer to _my_ question earlier.”

Nick’s amused expression fades slightly as she starts this again. But thinking back to the advice the Crowd has just given him, he takes heart. “You know what?” he starts, looking at her curiously. “It’s been a while since the last time we had drinks together, no? You got any plans yet Monday night? Just you and me, siblings time?”

She looks at him for a while and eventually her grin as well turns into a softer, almost melancholic smile. “You know what?” she replies. “I’d love that.”

“Sorry to keep you waiting!” their mother suddenly chimes from the terrace door, finally joining them outside with a tray full of drinks, followed by Travis, Susan and Patrick chatting merrily. Nick and Alicia get up from their chairs with smiles.

Once the glasses are handed out and everyone has gathered round, Travis raises his drink.

“Thank you, everyone, for spending this wonderful day with me. I’m so glad we’re all here together, today,” eyes even darting to Nick at this, “happy and healthy.”

“To you, Travis,” they all reply in return, before clinking their glasses. “Happy birthday!”

 

***

 

All Monday long, Nick was in fact a little torn between looking forward to the night and being nervous about it. It’s indeed been ages since the last time he’d been out with his sister for drinks. It must have been years, way before his dark years, when Nick and his friends had still visited the same nightlife locations as Alicia and her girls. To reawaken just a little of the magic from those carefree times would be amazing. Yet, at the same time, the confession he would be forced to give her made him dread the night. Would he really be brave enough to get out the words when the time comes?

Once he’s done with work for the day and night slowly but surely settles over L.A., the excitement starts to outweigh the worry, and so, with a smile on his lips, he makes his way towards L.A.’s pulsating center, eventually leaving the main road to head for “Moses’s”, the bar that used to be one of their favorite locations to go out when they were teenagers.

To Nick’s surprise, not much has changed since the last time he was here. The place is still as crowded, though the age difference between him and the main clientele of this place is now significantly bigger. The bar itself is still plunged in cozy darkness, the only light provided by the bright neon stripes on the walls, spelling out a bunch of oversized words like “Dreams”, “Aspiration”, “Courage” or “Determination”. _I’ll try to keep them in mind for later_ , Nick thinks with a bit of sarcasm.

With the huge counter in the center of the location – harboring hundreds of different bottles of liquor and a bunch of busy barkeepers – basically glowing in the darkness like a beacon of light, it doesn’t take him long to spot his sister on one of the barstools, scanning the crowd for him. As soon as their eyes meet, she greets him with a wave of her hand and comes over to him with a smile on her face.

“Hey there, ‘Licia, sorry to keep you waiting.”

“You didn’t,” Alicia replies good-naturedly. “I was just here early.”

Oh, she looks stunning with her pretty, short black dress, the small purse and the makeup – like a beautiful, elegant young woman on a night out. Maybe some people might even take them for a couple. After all, he doesn’t look too shabby either, it’s not like he came here in his dusty overall. Before leaving work, he changed into a clean shirt and a pair of dark jeans.

Just a few steps ahead of them, there’s a circular staircase leading down into the basement to the dance floor, loud music reaching them even up here, but of course they’re here to talk, so two cozy lounge chairs in one of the more quiet corners of the bar is perfect for them.

Once they’ve settled down, a waitress immediately pops up next to them, taking their orders. Whereas Nick’s okay with a simple beer, Alicia goes for a fancy cocktail, eventually deciding on a “Zombie” – the crazy mixture of several types of rum is supposedly strong enough to even raise the dead. (Nick on the other hand would already be grateful if the drink managed to raise Alicia’s blood alcohol level enough for her to be okay with any confession he might make…)

They engage in a bit of small talk first, Alicia asking Nick about his day at work, before venting a bit about a bunch of people annoying her at college.

Then the drinks are served and after toasting to this night and each of them taking a huge sip, Alicia starts nibbling a few of the salted peanuts on the table, before leaning back in her chair and giving her brother an expectant look.

“Sooo,” she starts again, basically taking back up their conversation from Travis’s birthday party. “You wanted to reveal that big mystery on whom you were sending those birthday cake pictures to.”

“Right…” Nick counters, acting as if he’d almost forgotten and hiding his sudden nervousness behind a round of quiet laughter. He takes another sip from his beer, maybe his own booze will also help boost his courage. “I may have met someone,” he confesses – and at least that first baby step was easier than expected. More than that, actually. Saying those words almost makes him feel a little proud.

Alicia’s excited reaction only intensifies that feeling. “Seriously, Nick? After all this time? God, I’m so happy for you!” Her words are absolutely genuine and she raises her Zombie again to clink glasses with him and drink to that.

“Yeah, thanks,” he murmurs happily, as he sets his beer back down. “To be honest, I’m not sure yet if it’s really something serious. We’ve basically just met twice and otherwise done nothing but texting…”

“So what?” Alicia shrugs. “I noticed immediately something was different about you, so who cares if it’s still at an early stage? It clearly makes you happy and that makes me happy. You deserve this so badly.”

“Thanks,” he replies with a heartfelt smile.

Alicia’s smile however quickly turns into a grin. “So, what’s she like? I wanna know everything about her!”

 _Uh oh._ So the fun’s over already… Shame. “Yeah...” Nick murmurs a bit sheepishly, swallowing quickly. “About that…”

“Let’s start with how you guys met,” she suggests, wanting to help him through his indecisive stammering. “Where did you run into each other?”

“Uhm, it was at a hardware store, actually,” Nick replies reflexively, slightly taken aback by her sudden question.

“Oh!” Having expected something (anything) different, Alicia gives him a little frown at first, then her expression breaks into a soft chuckle. “Well, I guess there are more romantic places than a hardware store, but hey,” she shrugs, “it’s not like there’s a limit to places people can run into their destined soul mate at, right?”

 _Destined soul mate._ Nick likes the sound of that.

“So how does she look like?” Alicia goes on curiously. “I’m sure she’s very pretty?”

Whew, the questions keep coming. And Nick’s actually tempted to answer, even if it’s just to extent his own grace period. “Hmmh, yeah, I guess you could say that,” he muses. “Good-looking, definitely.”

“Long, wavy hair?” Alicia goes on.

“Wavy? A little.” Nick hums again. “Long? Nah, not really. It’s rather short.”

“Shoulder length, then?” Alicia keeps guessing.

Nick shakes his head. “Much shorter.”

“Really?” she seems surprised. “Well, I guess a cute bob’s back to coming in these days. Especially for smaller girls. Speaking of which, what about her height? She small or tall?”

“Tall!” Nick replies immediately, now not even bothering anymore to hide his snicker. “Exceptionally tall. Taller than me. And quite athletic.”

“Oh, wow… That’s… interesting…” Alicia comments. It’s almost funny, seeing her face fall a little with every answer. Then however, she regains her composure. “Well, in any case, I’m sure she’s lovely. She may indeed be a little different from what I expected, but I’m sure she’s amazing anyway.”

“Absolutely amazing,” Nick insists, then he takes a deep breath and adds: “But you’re right. I suppose she’s more than a little different from what you expected.” He can’t help looking away a little reluctantly. “She’s actually…” He clears his throat, then meets her eyes. “She’s actually... not a _she_.”

Now Alicia’s face falls for real. “Not a...” she repeats. “What do you mean?”

Nick thinks back to the results of the poll. 60 percent advised him to stick to the truth. 60 percent of a bunch of anonymous people on the internet have his back. _Great_. “This person I met at the hardware store… the one I’ve been texting with… the one I like…” he shrugs, holding Alicia’s eyes nervously, “is actually a man.”

“Oh… _Wow_ …” Alicia comments, as the words finally sink in. “ _Wow_ …” She seems genuinely surprised, maybe even shocked a little, but she does her best not to let it show. “I had no idea…”

“Yeah, I…” Nick is quick to explain. “I’m not sure I had either. It’s just… I saw him and I immediately felt this connection. Like we were meant to be.” He shakes his head. “I never had feelings for men before, I promise, but in a way, with him, all of it makes sense.” He drops his hands on his lap, gazing at the coffee table as he goes on. “I loved Gloria so much. And I know I always will. She was the one for me, no doubt about that. No one can ever match up to her or replace her. More than that even: No one _must_ ever replace her.” He purses his lips. “I dunno. I guess in a way I may have been looking for someone who’s as different from her as it can be, to make sure there’s not even the slightest chance I might subconsciously be trying to replace her. I know it sounds silly. But I feel this may be the only way for me to find happiness again… And Troy – that’s his name –, God, he’s so amazing. He’s one of the most special people I’ve ever met…”

That last sentence actually evoked a gentle, fond smile from him, and it didn’t go unnoticed by his sister. And her face melts into a soft smile as well.

“Makes sense,” she says eventually, nodding at him. “If that’s the way for you to be happy again, I’m all in.”

Looking up at her, Nick can’t believe his ears. “For real?”

“Hell, of course!” she insists. “All I want is for you to enjoy this life again, Nick. Your real, sober life. And if this Troy manages to get you to do exactly that, I couldn’t care less about whether he’s a lady or a dude.” She grins. “After all, it’s the character that counts, no? So, as long as he has a good heart…”

“Yeah, I’m sure he does,” Nick agrees, shooting his sister a grateful look. “Thank you, sis. You rock.”

Alicia takes a smug sip from her cocktail, then the curious smirk from before is back on her face. “So, now that the cards are on the table, tell me everything about _him_.”

*

“Okay, so my big brother’s gonna become a farmer – who would have guessed? We’ll need to get you a stylish straw hat and a matching hayfork!” Alicia’s giggling sillily. Her cocktail’s almost empty by now.

“Oh, come on!” Nick protests. It’s cool though. They’re having a great time.

During the past thirty minutes or so, he’s filled her in on the ranch and his weekend trip, and Alicia’s listened attentively. She considers this whole survivalist setup a little crazy, but admitted nevertheless it sounds intriguing.

To her, the sweetest thing however is the way Nick’s eyes start to shine whenever he talked about his Troy: “We’re so alike in many ways,” he points out. “Like… we share the same kind of humor.”

He’s just about to tell her the story about the silly names they came up with at Starbuck’s, but then changes his mind, thinking she might consider it childish. So instead, he goes on: “And we really feel the same about a lot of things in the world. We have a similar story, he and I. He’s no ex junkie, don’t worry, but we’ve made a lot of similar experiences in life. So yeah, we really get each other.”

 “You’ll have to introduce us,” Alicia says with a smile. “Next time you meet him.”

“That would be cool,” Nick replies quickly. “Though I can also show you a picture right now.”

“You got a picture?” Alicia blurts out quickly, almost spilling her drink. “Why didn’t you say so earlier? Show me, show me!”

With a grin (and a really proud one on top of that!) Nick pulls out his phone, browsing through his photos until he finds the one from the ranch’s website. “Here.” Holding the display to her. “That’s him.”

“Oh, _wow_ ,” Alicia whistles through her teeth. “He’s good-looking, alright…” Shooting her brother an impressed look. “Seriously, Nick… He’s gorgeous.”

Nick feels his smile must be shining as brightly as the sun by now. “He has a brother,” he suggests, wriggling his eyebrows.

Alicia blinks at him for a second, then bursts out laughing. “God, we’d be siblings dating siblings, huh? Sounds like pure chaos! But thanks, I’ll be sure to keep that in mind, in case Matt misbehaves.” _Misbehaves_ is what she says, but they both know that’s never gonna happen. Nobody could ever be as perfect as Matt, that’s for sure. Not even Troy’s brother Jake.

Almost a little absentmindedly, Alicia lets her fingers brush over the engagement ring at her hand with a fond smile. “I want that for you, too, Nick,” she whispers after a while, “to be happy with your destined soul mate.”

Nick holds her eyes for a while, and it’s a warm gaze, full of affection. “Thanks, ‘Licia. Maybe after all this time, the road leading me to that person might finally be right ahead of me.”

 

***

 

They stayed at the bar till midnight. Time flew by as they kept on chatting and joking, and for a few blissful hours, they were back to being those two kids that used to be so close when they were younger, understanding each other blindly, effortlessly, before pain and mistakes tore them apart. It was a great, fun night, and as Nick makes his way to the bus stop, heading along the nightly street illuminated by the bright neon lights of other bars and restaurants, he realizes he hadn’t felt this close to his sister in a long time.

“We should do that again, soon,” they’d promised, as they’d said goodbye. And hell, they would!

Maybe next time even to meet Troy.

 _Introduce us!_ Alicia had suggested. _The next time you meet._

 _The next time we meet,_ Nick thinks, glancing at the couples walking past him, some of them on their way home, just like him. Others heading for the bars only now. Troy and he were planning on seeing each other again next weekend, but to be honest, until now, Nick had almost naturally assumed this would mean he’d pay the ranch yet another visit.

But what if – on the other hand – Troy would be the one coming to L.A., visiting him here? He could stay at his place, and Nick could return the favor and give him the tour through his hometown, show him the buildings he’s worked at for example – and make that meeting with him and Alicia a reality. Instead of the stars, they’d be surrounded by the lights of the city, and maybe also come to appreciate their beauty.

But would Troy even want that? Considering he’s never been outside his home much, he might feel safest and most comfortable at the ranch? He might even despise the city for being such a crowded and dirty place, and Nick wouldn’t want that… At the same time, Nick wouldn’t mind spending a few more days (and nights?) in the untamed beauty of the wilderness.

 _Huh, maybe it’s a good idea to find out what the Crowd thinks about that_ , he shrugs, pulling out his phone and typing his question while walking on.

_Planning on spending the weekend with my crush. Should I invite him to my place in the city or pay him another visit at his family’s ranch?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big decision this time :)  
> Vote "Invite him to L.A.!" or "Offer to visit him again at the ranch!" at  
> <https://www.quiz-maker.com/poll2042839xc877473e-55>  
> (Voting is anonymous and doesn't require any registration.)  
> Majority wins!


	11. The House Guest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, I'm really sorry for taking so long to finish this chapter. To make up for it, it turned out to be a longer chapter again, and we even get some romance time :)  
> Hope you'll enjoy!!

It’s half past one when Nick takes a peek at the clock. _Geez, time sure is flying today, isn’t it?_ Still so much to do and less than one and a half hours left.

Today’s a wonderful, warm and sunny Saturday, and Nick’s in the middle of preparing some fresh bedclothes for the couch. Fluffing up the pillow, however, he notices the strange discomfort return. Of course, the thought has crossed his mind several times, ever since he invited Troy to L.A. to spend the weekend with him. Will those spare bedsheets on the sofa actually be needed or…?

A dwelling question that – if he’s being entirely honest – actually leaves him a bit nervous. Truth be told, he couldn’t even tell himself whether he’s hoping for something to happen or not. He did take the necessary precautions, yes, of course. But whether it will actually get to this, remains to be seen.

The thing is, it would be his first time since Gloria… ever since he lost the one person whom he believed would stay by his side forever. He isn’t sure if he’d have the guts to go through with it with Troy just yet, or if the ghosts from the past would eventually return to haunt him.

Not to mention, his relationship with Troy is still somewhat nebulous. This is just their third meeting. Sure, they had kissed the last time they’d seen each other. But ever since, their texting has been purely platonic, like friends or buddies chatting and joking. In that regard, he didn’t even have a proper idea on how he was supposed to greet Troy. With a simple handshake, a hug, a kiss?

_Well, in the end, we’ll figure it out as we go,_ Nick thinks to himself, putting the pillow down on the sofa after all. _Let’s see where this weekend will take us. Let’s see what the mood’s going to be like once he’s here._ Cause no matter the many question marks, there’s one thing that’s for sure: Nick’s been longing to see his crush again _so_ badly, dreaming about him all the time, reminiscing about that warm feeling in his heart as they’d fixed the fence together, a pleasant giddiness spreading in his belly whenever he pictured those stunning blue eyes, the handsome face, the attractive build, the rare, breathtaking smile. Regardless of what today and tomorrow will turn out to have in store for them, they’ll finally be reunited. And that alone is gonna make this weekend heaven.

Vacuuming the floor, he hastily kicks a bunch of stray socks under his bed. Well, he _is_ a guy living alone, so sue him if his apartment isn’t perfectly tidy every day.

It’s the last thing he managed to do, since right at that moment, the time has come. It’s ten past three – which is actually an impressively small delay for a three hour drive – and there’s a ring at his door.

Immediately, Nick’s pulse rises and a shiver runs down his spine. He quickly puts the duster away, wipes his suddenly slightly sweaty hands at his pants, puts on his most charming smile – and opens the door.

In hindsight, it wouldn’t even have been necessary for him to remind himself to put on that smile, since as soon as the door reveals his guest and they’re suddenly – finally – face to face, both their eyes light up in such an adorable way, as if they were old friends, soulmates, being reunited after an incredibly long time apart. And in the blink of an eye, the nervousness is gone, replaced by sheer happiness and excitement.

“Hi,” Troy says plainly, a sheepish smirk on his lips, a sports bag leisurely swung over his shoulder. Oh, he’s a sight to see indeed: Wearing a dark pair of jeans, a gray t-shirt and a red and black checkered flannel shirt. His short beard neatly trimmed, the fluffy brown hair not too groomed, not too messy either.

_God, he’s gorgeous_. For a moment Nick actually catches himself holding his breath. It’s the first time he sees him in broad daylight after their nightly kiss, after his feelings for his mysterious crush have amplified by a hundred times. _He’s so outta my league,_ Nick thinks to himself for a short moment _, and yet. He’s here. He’s here for me._

“Hi,” Nick replies, a blissful smile spreading on his face, and eventually he takes a step back, beckoning Troy to enter. “Come in.”

“Thanks,” Troy grins as he complies. He puts his stuff down next to the door, then his eyes scan the room curiously. “So that’s your place?”

“Yup,” Nick nods immediately, closing the door. “It’s not that big, I know. Hope you don’t feel too confined in here. You’re used to different levels of spaciousness at the ranch, I know… But for me, it’s alright.”

“It’s great,” Troy simply replies, going ahead to take a peek into the living room – the biggest room in Nick’s apartment. “Really nice,” he praises, and whether he means it or not, Nick loves to hear it.

“And you even got your own balcony!” Troy notices at once, immediately heading towards the open balcony door.

Nick follows him closely. “It’s even smaller,” Nick warns him off-handedly, but Troy just shrugs and shoots him a smile over his shoulder as he steps outside.

“But it’s perfectly sunny.”

Nick looks at him for a moment, then returns the smile. “Yeah, you’re right. It is.”

They’re now both outside on the balcony, even though they’re hardly fitting on the tiny space between the small table and the two wooden balcony chairs. Nick notices with a frown he forgot to put away the ashtray, but chances are Troy noticed the faint cigarette smell inside anyway.

In any case, Troy doesn’t seem to put that much attention to it. He’s long made his way to the rail, checking out the view. There isn’t much to be seen down there, just a small inner yard where sometimes a few children would run around or play soccer. Certainly nothing like the endless wilderness under the starlit sky Troy must be used to when taking a look outside his window.

“Well, I did make plans for later, but maybe you wanna sit down for a minute?” Nick suggests, pointing at the chairs. “You could relax from the drive and I…” He can’t quite hide the little grin sneaking on his face. “I’ll get us a little welcoming surprise.”

Troy raises an eyebrow at that, but before he can ask any questions, Nick’s already back inside, heading for the kitchen.

When he returns to the balcony a minute later, Troy’s indeed taken a seat, enjoying the warm sunshine on his skin. He looks at Nick with curious eyes, before bursting into a quick laugh. “No way!”

“Oh, yes,” Nick insists, before handing Troy one of the two takeaway Starbucks cups he’s carrying. “I got them earlier and cooled them in the freezer. Iced Caffè Mocha, wasn’t it? If I remembered correctly.”

“Has to be,” Troy says, eyes shining with humor as he points at the letters on his cup. “After all, it has my name written on it!” The name on the cup reads _Bartholomew-Phineas_.

“And it’s actually spelled correctly,” Nick points out not without pride in his voice, then his expression melts into a grin of his own. He takes a seat himself, then holds out his Iced Caramel Macchiato to his guest. “To you being here.”

“To you having me,” Troy replies, plastic-clinking cups with Nick.

 

They spend the next thirty minutes or so engaging in a bit of small talk, Nick asking Troy about the drive, Troy asking Nick about his week at work and both of them bringing up a few of the things they’d texted on in the past few days.

Once the cups are empty and the sun has vanished behind the opposite building, Nick offers to give Troy a quick tour through the rest of the small apartment, a suggestion Troy accepts with an interested nod.

So they head back inside, back to the corridor where Troy has put his bag. Nick points at the other doors. “So over here’s the bathroom…” Opening the door for Troy to be able to take a peek inside. It’s a really small room with just a tiny shower, a toilet and a washbowl. But hey, it’s all you need.

“Then over here we have the kitchen…” Opening the opposite door.

“Oh, very nice, a separate kitchen,” Troy comments, impressed. “My friend Mike has a small apartment in Phoenix – and his kitchen is integrated in one of the corners of the living room.”

“Yeah, I’ve been really lucky indeed,” Nick confirms with a nod, before turning to the last door. “Bedroom’s separate, too.”

It’s a weird feeling showing that room to Troy, but it would have been even weirder to leave the room out of their little tour altogether. He tries to act as casual as possible about it, and Troy tries to keep up the nonchalant demeanor just as much, commenting on it being “nice” and “spacious”. Still, the underlying awkwardness remains, and Nick can’t help suspecting that – as they both stand in the doorframe, eyes trailing to the bed – they’re secretly both thinking the same thought: _This is where we’re gonna have sex._

“So, yeah,” Nick concludes with sudden discomfort, hastily shutting the door again. “That’s about all there is to see.” He can’t help letting out an inner sigh of relief once the bedroom door’s closed again.

And apparently, it’s not much different for Troy, as he’s pretty eager to get back into the living room, once their tour has come to an end.

“Really, I think it’s a great place to live,” Troy eventually concludes, letting his eyes roam around the room one last time. “You were very lucky to get a nice apartment like this in the middle of L.A.”

“Yeah, that’s definitely true,” Nick agrees with a nod.

Then Troy’s eventually spotted the bedsheets on the sofa, and after their moment of awkwardness in the bedroom he seems almost relieved that Nick prepared them over here for him.

“Oh, right,” Nick immediately says jokingly, lightening the weirdness with humor. “Almost forgot.” Presenting the sofa with a theatrical gesture. “The most important part of the tour. This is gonna be your bed, if that’s okay with you.”

“Sure,” Troy nods immediately. “Even though it makes me feel a little bad, since I’m sure that sofa is way more comfortable than the bunkbed you had to make do with at the ranch.” And as if to test it, he lets himself drop on the couch.

Nick can’t help chuckling. “The bunkbed was a small price to pay.” Eyes trailing to Troy. “Considering what I was rewarded with.”

Their eyes meet – and only at that moment, Nick realized what he just implied. He’d addressed the elephant in the room. His grin freezes.

Troy had stretched out his arms on the backrest, but as soon as Nick’s said those words, he lets them drop again, shooting Nick a look that suddenly encompasses a strange mixture of surprise and… longing.

Nick lets out a slow breath, then, without even thinking about it, he sits down on the sofa next to Troy, looking at him with honest eyes. “I’ve really been looking forward to seeing you again…” he whispers, and even though in the end they didn’t shake hands, they didn’t hug and they didn’t kiss when Troy entered the apartment, they both know exactly what’s going to happen now. What they want to happen now.

“Me too,” Troy replies as solemnly, but Nick has already crossed the distance between them and caught Troy’s lips in a kiss. It's soft and reluctant, as if the last time they'd kissed was already so far away they were back to square one. As if they had to figure each other out anew, test how the other one would react to each movement, each touch, negotiate the pace, the mood they were both comfortable with. And even with all that, they synchronize so quickly, so effortlessly, finding their very own, common way, it feels as if they’d been together like this forever.

Eventually, Nick pulls back, opening his eyes again to look at Troy. The other one is returning the gaze, smiling a bit disbelieving, but happy nevertheless.

"Hi," is the only thing Nick manages to say as their eyes meet, suddenly feeling a bit breathless.

Troy's smile melts into an endeared grin by that, and instead of replying, he just leans in to Nick once again, stealing another kiss from the other man, playful, teasing almost.

Surprised by it for a second, Nick can feel Troy's smile against his lips and it stirs a warm feeling of bliss inside his heart. He feels encouraged by the other one apparently enjoying this moment as well, so Nick finds himself intensifying the kiss, now even shifting slightly on the couch to gently push Troy against the soft backrest.

Troy immediately responds to Nick’s rising commitment, wrapping his arm around Nick's shoulder in return to pull him closer.

For a few moments, they lose themselves in the kiss, a mutual curiosity for each other drawing them close. Just little over a month ago, they hadn't even known of the other's existence. Now here they are, on the couch of Nick's apartment, locked in a slow, but passionate kiss they both wished would last forever.

In the end, forever’s roughly a few minutes, as Nick eventually feels Troy trying to shy back a little underneath him –  which isn’t really possible because of the backrest. For a moment, Nick feels every fiber of his body scream with disappointment, refusing to stop, but he knows Troy’s right. They shouldn’t rush things, they couldn’t.

After all, not even two weeks ago, Troy was getting all defensive at another person showing interest in him. The fact that they’re locked here in this kiss today, must already be a miracle of its own.

But it’s not just Troy, Nick knows that. They should also take things slow for Nick's own sake. No medication applied out of the blue in its full dose has ever really helped anyone to heal.

So Nick’s okay pulling back. More than that, actually. As soon as he opens his eyes again and they meet Troy’s, he’s immediately surged by a wave of happiness and blissfulness, stronger even than what he'd felt during their first kiss. Cause this one wasn't rushed, it wasn't uncertain or risky in any way. This one had been planned. Hell, this entire weekend was meant for them to spend time with each other, to be close, to get to know each other better. This weekend, this apartment, it’s their safe place. And there is no pressure whatsoever. They would take things at their own pace, and deciding on that was their choice alone.

Realizing the same, Troy is looking back at Nick with his eyes shining just as much, cheeks still flushed ever so slightly. It’s the most dashing sight Nick has ever seen.

"Wow, that was something for sure..."

Nick can't help giggling, and because that moment is just so irresistible, he leans back down again, stealing one last kiss from his crush.

"And it's only Saturday afternoon."

Troy replies with a snicker of his own, looking back at Nick with an affectionate gaze. "Speaking of which," he murmurs eventually. "You said you'd made plans…” a quick crooked grin, “aside from this, I mean.” Then his expression reverts to honest curiosity. “Wanna fill me in?"

Nick notices with fondness that Troy has started playing with the hem of Nick’s sleeve as he said this, and the casualness, the intimacy of that simple gesture after just a few moments of kissing sends Nick's spirits to a new high.

"Yeah, sure," Nick nods at him, that smile still on his lips. "My idea was..."

Truth is, the thing he suggests now wasn’t really _his_ idea. It was once again a suggestion from the Cloud. Already this morning he'd submitted a little poll there to find out what the Crowd would suggest for them to do on their first evening together in L.A. He’d given them three options: Catch a movie, have drinks at a bar or head out to the beach.

It hadn’t taken long until CrowdClue had informed him of the results, the majority’s favorite option being the one he now suggests to Troy.

And the latter one seems pretty fond of it. “Sounds great,” he smiles. “Let’s do that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, your turn!  
> Vote "Catch a movie!", "Go have drinks at a bar!" or "Head out to the beach!" at  
> <https://www.quiz-maker.com/poll2079351x937E4480-57>  
> (Voting is anonymous and doesn't require any registration.)  
> Do you have any other ideas on how / where Nick and Troy should spend their evening? Feel free to leave your idea via the "Other" option :)


	12. A Day at the Beach

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, for some reasons my chapters are getting bigger and bigger here... This might be the longest chapter so far, I apologize in advance. To my defense, however, there was a lot to tell this time and - hopefully - there's also a lot of fun stuff happening :)
> 
> So who's ready for a little trip to the beach? :)

“You’ve missed it,” Troy informs him for the second time.

“No, I didn’t,” Nick shakes his head.

“Over there’s another one.” Troy points ahead. “Aaaand…  you’ve missed it again.” His eyes follow the sign at the side of the street that’s just passing by the windshield, reading “Beach” and pointing to the right. They’ve already came by a whole bunch of those, but so far, Nick has refused to actually _turn right_ and follow the instructions.

“Troy,” Nick calls him eventually, voice sounding like a parent lecturing their kid. “I’m the one who lives in this city. And I’m the one who knows the way to the beach.”

“And the sign doesn’t?” Troy raises his eyebrow.

“The sign is a moron,” Nick shrugs, keeping his eyes fixed on the street. “Sure, you do get to the beach if you follow it, but unless you wanna squeeze on some tiny space in the middle of thousands and thousands of beach towels, with roistering brats stumbling over you all the time and old folks tanning their wrinkly asses left and right, I’d advise against it.”

There’s a quick frown forming on Troy’s face, as he shoots his friend a skeptical look. “And you are the smart guy with the insider tip?”

Nick can’t fight the slight smile curving his lips. “Well, I may have another spot in mind that’s a little more…” eyes involuntarily darting to his passenger, “secluded…”

To his delight, Troy responds to the glance with a chuckle. “I may indeed prefer that.”

Nick can feel his eyes lighting up. And the next beach sign, they pass without any complaints from Troy.

 

***

 

“Secluded” is of course a relative term. This is Los Angeles after all. But Nick manages to get them to a part of the beach that’s indeed significantly less crowded, ample of space between the beach towels. There’s friends sitting around a bowl of chips, lovers staring at the sea with their arms around each other, people sleeping, listening to music on their iPod or reading a book. All around: The silken, shiny white sand. And just a few steps ahead: The endless ocean glittering in the midday sun.

For a moment, Troy simply can’t help stopping in his tracks, gazing at the scenery, as they both head down from the parking lot.

“It’s beautiful,” Troy murmurs, almost to himself.

“You never been to the sea?” Nick has stopped a few steps ahead, looking back at Troy over his shoulder.

“Yeah, but I was a little kid,” Troy replies. “I remember it gray and rainy.”

“Well, it _is_ gray and rainy when it rains,” Nick can’t resist pointing out with a chuckle, then he lets out a mock-sigh. “Jesus, just what’s the deal with you country folks and the sea?” he teases. “And you were the one who made fun of me when I admired the stars during my visit…”

“Yeah, I guess I…” Troy starts, still unable to take his eyes of the endless blue, merging into the horizon somewhere far, far in the distance.

“May I introduce?” Nick points at the glittering sea. “ _Our_ version of the nightly stars in the wilderness.” And as he turns around again, actually _looking_ at it for like the first time in years, with Troy holding his breath right there next to him, he can’t help but for a few moments stop and join in on the marveling himself.

 

They eventually pick a very nice spot pretty close to the water and Nick starts spreading out the large beach towel he’s brought along.

Letting themselves drop on the soft fabric covering the sand, they end up sharing a look that perfectly expresses the happiness they’re both feeling in this very moment.

Nick kicks off his shoes, leaning back with a content sigh. “Now that’s what I call an enjoyable Saturday afternoon.”

Troy slowly starts taking off his shoes as well, unable to resist the urge to dig his feet into the sand, enjoying the sensation of feeling it at the bottom of his foot and between his toes. “Let’s take a walk on the sand later,” he suggests, almost absentmindedly, as he digs his feet into the sand playfully over and over again, before leaning back on his elbows and turning his eyes back to the sea.

“Sure, anything you want,” Nick replies, unable to suppress a yawn as he enjoys the warm sunshine on his skin.

At that moment, there’s a brief vibration of a phone. Nick knows it’s his, but he doesn’t react. It doesn’t take long however, until the vibration is repeated.

“Must be important,” Troy comments after the third time, accidentally catching a glimpse at the screen as Nick pulls out the device to mute it. He shoots the younger man a curious look. “‘CrowdClue’?”

“It’s nothing, really. Just spam,” Nick shrugs it off.

“Spam with vibrating alerts,” Troy points out, the look in his eyes making it clear he’s genuinely interested.

Nick ends up snorting. He feels a bit stupid explaining it to Troy, but what the hell. Why not? “It’s just a silly app,” he says eventually. “You can post anonymous polls there and people will reply with their opinion in real time. Of course, they don’t know anything about you, so the replies may seem pretty random.” He purses his lips. “Sometimes, when I’m on my lunch break for example or bored, I reply to a few polls as well. Feels… exciting somehow to get a glimpse into people’s lives and think about the circumstances that may have prompted a person to post a specific poll…”

“Sounds intriguing, I give you that,” Troy replies, voice genuine. “A glimpse into people’s lives…” He lies down next to Nick, staring up into the cloudless sky. “Why don’t we reply to a few?”

Nick finds himself chuckling. “Sure, why not?” He unlocks his phone again, opening the app. “Alright, here we go. _My friends wanna go to the Mozart concert tonight, but I’d rather just stay home binging Vampire Diaries._ ”

“Yikes,” Troy comments. “Neither.”

“That’s not an option,” Nick replies with a smirk.

“The ancient music dude, then,” Troy sighs. “And get new friends.”

Nick snorts as he submits the vote. Then scrolls on immediately to the next. “ _Blue or orange tiles for my bathroom?_ ”

“Orange,” Troy states, adding with a shrug, “I’m wicked.”

Nick can’t help chuckling, before going on. “ _Riley, that asshole, cheated on me with Chloe! Now he wants a second chance._ ”

“He can stick that second chance up his ass.”

“That’s a No, then, I guess,” Nick grins as he selects the choice. “Oh, that one’s nice, too. _What do you guys think will cause the apocalypse? Zombies or aliens?_ ”

“People like you,” Troy can’t help snorting. “Zombies. There’s only one alien, and his name is ALF.”

“90ies shows FTW,” Nick chips in immediately, offering a fist bump to Troy – and smiling like crazy as the latter one actually joins in. “Okay, one more,” Nick then says, spirits high. “ _Is it possible to_ – ah, no. Lady stuff,” giving an embarrassed chuckle. “Next one. Ah, that’s a safe one. _Should I sign up for medicine or media science? Can’t decide!_ ”

“Medicine, of course. Geez. What kind of question is that?” Troy shakes his head. “If the zombies do come, no one survives on a clever ad slogan.”

“Submitted,” Nick confirms, then puts the phone away again. “Yeah, as I said. It’s a bit silly, but fun nevertheless.”

“Yeah,” Troy nods with a shrug. “And yet. Maybe that kid would suck being a doctor, but lead a super happy life working with a bunch of hipsters in a publicity startup.”

“Told you it’s random,” Nick admits. “But still, from my experience, the results usually are surprisingly reasonable. Must be the Wisdom of the Crowds.”

Troy props himself up on his elbows, shooting Nick a look. “You posting polls as well?”

“To be honest,” Nick can’t help shooting him a sheepish grin. “Us being here is thanks to this app.”

“For real?!” Troy hisses, then bursts into a merry laughter. “Okay, I take it all back. The online Crowd is pretty cool. Did you hear that, anonymous bored folks on the internet who have nothing better to do than fill out random polls of people you don’t even know? You rock!”

Now Nick’s laughing like crazy as well. “They sure do.”

Looking around, Nick’s eyes suddenly come to rest on the ice cream parlor a bit further down. “I wonder what their advice would be, if I asked them whether we should get some ice cream?”

“I have no idea,” Troy replies with a smirk. “But I know what my advice would be.”

 

Troy’s still smiling as a few seconds later he watches Nick head off to the ice cream parlor to get them a little treat. As he sits around waiting, his eyes eventually come to rest on Nick’s phone, unlocked and with the CrowdClue app still running.

He would never pry into Nick’s personal stuff, certainly not, but the CrowdClue principle intrigues him somehow. If that Crowd is really so wise… then what would they reply if he asked them…?

Without the slightest qualm, he grabs the device and hits the button “Create new poll”. A dialogue pops up, prompting him to enter his questions and the answers he wants to provide to the Crowd. Thinking about it for a few blinks, Troy eventually starts typing. He reads over it one last time, then, contently, he chuckles slightly as he hits the submit button.

His first CrowdClue poll (<https://www.poll-maker.com/poll2096385x72F04A7a-58>)! It’s so ridiculous. But if he’s being entirely honest, also a little exciting. Cause somehow he can’t wait for the results.

He doesn’t get a chance to check for them though, since right at that moment he spots Nick heading back to him with two cones of delicious looking ice cream. Hastily, he switches off the phone and puts it back on the towel. He has to bite his tongue to keep himself from snickering as he accepts the cone from Nick.

 

***

 

“Hey, wanna check out the water?” Nick asks, once the ice cream has been devoured. He’s noticed Troy’s longing gazes ages ago.

The other man just purses his lips. “Sure, but I didn’t bring my swim trunks…”

“Neither did I,” Nick shrugs quickly. “But it’s not like we have to go for a real swim. We can just roll up our pants and wade around a little. It’s pretty shallow around here.” Getting up, he holds his hand to Troy. “Whaddaya say?”

Troy looks up at him for a moment, then responds with a smile. Catching Nick’s hand, he lets himself be pulled to his feet. “Sounds great.”

They head down the beach until they reach the water, a soft current washing over the sand again and again, foaming slightly before drawing back again. The soaked sand feels significantly muddier and heavier than the warm and dry sand under their towel.

“It’s warmer than expected,” Troy notices as he feels the water wash around his toes. “Feels nice.”

“We had constant sunshine all week,” Nick points out, already a few steps further in the water.

Troy watches his feet sink in slightly into the sand with every step he takes. “I’m surprised how clear and clean the water is.” He bends down to pick up a shining white pebble from the water, as if to prove his point.

“It’s different further up, where the signs say ‘Beach’, I assure you,” Nick replies with a crooked grin.

Troy can help chuckling. “So the signs lead people to the rubbish-strewn part of the beach.”

“Well,” Nick turns around with a shrug, walking on backwards, “there’s that thing with the chicken and the egg…”

At that, Troy can’t help laughing. “Really smart today, aren’t we?”

Nick responds with a huge grin spreading on his lips. “What do you mean, ‘today’? I’m always smart!” And as if to stress his words, he starts kicking a gush of water in Troy’s direction.

“Hey!” the other man complains. “What was that for?!” And whereas Nick’s splash had only sprayed softly on Troy’s pants, Troy’s countermove hits Nick pretty heavily.

“Are you crazy?” Nick hisses, pointing at his now damp clothes.

“You were the one who started it,” Troy points out innocently, taking a few steps back as soon as Nick starts coming towards him. He chuckles as he manages to evade another gush of water Nick scoops in his direction with both hands. “Oh, you suck!” Troy laughs merrily, splashing more water back. “You suck so badly!” he teases.

“ _You_ suck!” Nick counters, water now already dripping from his hair. He’s soaking wet by now and so there’s only one mission left for him to take care of. Eventually reaching Troy, who’s sought refuge in the more shallow parts of the water, he manages to get a hold of his shirt, then pushes in an attempt to knock him over.

Under normal circumstances, this would have never worked, but the soaked sand under Troy’s feet is unstable and slippery. He instinctively grabs Nick’s shoulder in an attempt to steady himself and regain his balance, but it’s too late.

Before Troy even realizes what’s happening, he finds himself lying flat on his back in the shallow water – Nick on top of him.

It’s really unpleasant, feeling the clothes you wear soak in the water, but right at that moment, Troy doesn’t care. With Nick suddenly so close, he watches the smile slowly vanishing from the younger man’s face and Troy catches himself holding his breath. Oh, he could drown in those breathtaking dark eyes. He wouldn’t miss a thing, as long as they keep gazing at him.

It’s an intimate moment they share, regardless of it being under the eyes of the whole world. And Nick doesn’t care. With their faces only inches apart, he’s unable to resist the urge to simply lean down and kiss him, indulge in this amazing feeling he’d experiences under the starlit sky in the wilderness as well as on the couch earlier once again.

Cause for the first time, gazing at the handsome man underneath him, he realizes this isn’t just a crush anymore. He’s in love.

Closing his eyes, he slowly leans down – when all of a sudden he’s hit by a huge splash of water, now surging him full force.

Troy immediately starts laughing under him, looking up at a frozen Nick, with squinted eyes and water dripping from his nose, lips and lashes. “Bet you didn’t see that coming!” Troy declares victoriously, as slides out from underneath Nick and gets back to his feet.

“No… I honestly didn’t,” Nick replies with a mixture of sarcasm and pouting, but the disappointment over the foiled kiss is gone immediately, as he notices Troy holding out his hand to him.

“At least we’re both soaked now,” Troy tells him with a smirk. “That’s a solid basis for a truce, no?”

 

***

 

They spend the rest of the afternoon dozing on the beach towel, letting the warm sunshine dry the clothes they’re wearing, since of course they have no way to change.

When Nick opens his eyes again at around half past seven, he can feel Troy’s hands on his shoulder, waking him.

“Hey, Nick,” he other man says softly. “You hungry? There’s a takeaway by the street, offering sandwiches and fries.”

“Sure,” Nick replies, still a bit drowsily. “I’ll get us some.”

“It’s okay,” Troy replies, patting Nick’s shoulder as if to encourage him to sleep on. “You got the coffee and the ice cream. Dinner’s on me.”

“Thanks,” Nick replies, watching Troy get up and head for the street.

He doesn’t feel like sleeping on anymore, though, so for a few moments, he just lies there, staring up at the endless sky, with a blissful smile on his lips. What a wonderful day. What a wonderful weekend.

And yet, as the sky above him is already turning to a slight shade of orange, Nick’s also starting to get a little nervous. The day is about to end. And no matter how long they’ll eventually stay out here, gazing at the nightly ocean, sooner or later they would return to Nick’s apartment. And then… what?

Would it be too soon? Too rushed? Sure, a part of Nick wants to. But another part of him is scared. What if they won’t manage to make it work or things will turn into one giant mess? What if Troy ends up being disappointed with him? A failed attempt here would not only ruin their moment of intimacy, but also spoil every other single blissful moment this weekend has granted them so far… Is that really a risk he’d be willing to take?

And another question that should be considered: What does _Troy_ expect of this night? Who knows if he’d be willing to go all the way in the first place… Considering he practically dodged that kiss earlier in the water…

_Still, from my experience, the results usually are surprisingly reasonable. Must be the Wisdom of the Crowds._

Right. CrowdClue. They’ll know what to do, won’t they?

Pulling out his phone, Nick quickly unlocks it and starts the app. Immediately, he’s greeted with a notification: “You have eleven new votes on your latest poll”.

 _Seriously now?!_ Nick thinks with a snort. _People are still voting for that movies / bar / beach poll?! That was like last month ago! And already back then people had chosen the beach option with 69 percent. Not to mention our day at the beach is almost over now…_

So not paying much attention to the notification, he immediately hits the “Create new poll” button, posting his question. And by that, releasing this issue that weighs on him so badly to a bunch of anonymous people on the internet, who might be in the middle of doing God knows what when they vote on his poll – maybe lounging at the beach, joking about it.

“My crush and I are gonna return to my place in a while. It’s been our second date and I’m unsure about what to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, your turn! And a major decision this time :)  
> Vote "Try to seduce him", "Better take things slow" or "Let him set the pace" at  
> <https://www.poll-maker.com/poll2096390x3785bc34-58>  
> (Voting is anonymous and doesn't require any registration.)  
> Majority wins!


	13. The Empty Couch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, here we finally go with the next chapter! Things are starting to get serious... ;) That's all I'm gonna say.  
> Hope you'll enjoy!!

And once again, the Crowd is fast. Just two minutes later and already 16 votes on the poll. And it’s pretty obvious which answer’s the one favored by the majority: _Why don’t you let him set the pace?_ (88 percent)

A quick smile brushes over Nick’s lips as he switches off his phone, putting it back into his pocket.

 _Yeah, right…_ he thinks to himself, as he lays back on the beach towel. _Of course. I’ve done enough pushing here already. It should be up to him for a change._

And strangely, that thought, the notion of not being in charge anymore, of not being the one with the pressure to make a decision, lightens the uneasiness Nick’s been feeling about the coming hours significantly. It’s not just on him anymore. They’ll find their way together.

About ten minutes later, Troy finally returns with the food. _He’s not a stingy fellow_ , that’s for sure, Nick thinks to himself as he watches Troy showcases his loot on their towel. He got several sandwiches (they’re pretty small, in all fairness) and a big box of fries.

“God, I may need to engage in some sportive activities later, to burn all those calories!” Nick jokes, the suggestiveness however all but unintentional. He eyes Troy very closely as he says it, the latter however simply chuckles.

“You city boy,” he calls him, not without the slightest hint of amicable reproach.

 _Well, not too enlightening, but whatever_ , Nick thinks to himself, nibbling one of the fries, but can’t help snickering. “Anyway, thanks for the food.”

Troy picks one of the sandwiches. “Sure. Enjoy!”

And enjoy is what they do. Lounging on the soft towel, the warm late afternoon sun warming their skin, the pure white sand all around them and the ocean glittering before them, their little dinner turns into a wonderful picnic at the beach – with them enjoying each other’s company in silence as they munch sandwich after sandwich, until all the food is devoured, the fries box empty.

Then, after relaxing a little while longer, they pack up, eventually deciding to take a walk along the beach, before heading back to the parking lot.

So not even five minutes later, they slowly stroll along the water barefooted, carrying their shoes in their hands, feeling the tide wash around their feet again and again, a pleasant sensation, as the sun touches the horizon like a glowing copper coin, far out there in the distance.

For a long while, neither of them says a word, they just walk, side by side, as if they’d meant to be like this all along. The other people at the beach, the ones still lounging on their towels, reading, listening to music, chatting, may even take them for a couple, but no one bothers to shoot them a second glance. They’re out here in the open, under everyone’s eyes, and yet, surrounded by modern metropolitan life, perfectly safe.

And as Nick enjoys this wonderful feeling of peace, familiarity, comfort, he swears there is an air of fate surrounding them. He takes in a deep breath, a happy smile curving his lips, as he tries to memorize that very moment in his heart, the blissfulness he’s feeling right now, the perfect contentment – and the love for this man next to him, his handsome face illuminated by the golden sunlight, the same wonderful feeling of happiness shining in his eyes.

And gently, softly, he lets his fingers brush against Troy’s, innocently, stealthily – and his heart almost skips a beat as the gesture is returned. Their fingers touch, caress each other time and again, and maybe even interlace a little, but they’re not holding hands. It’s something in between, like a secret they share, one that no one else knows about – and it puts a sheepish grin on both their faces.

“You know, Troy,” Nick whispers after a while, “if I’m perfectly honest, spending time here with you–”

“Troy? Troy?! Is that you?!”

Suddenly, an unfamiliar voice reaches them, and with puzzled looks the two men stop and turn around.

“What on earth are you doing here in L.A.?!” There’s a tall young man with a yellow beard staggering towards them, a disbelieving smile on his lips. “I thought it was a heat-induced hallucination, but even when I rubbed my eyes, it was still you!” He starts laughing heartily, then gives Troy a clap on the shoulder.

At first, Nick doesn’t really get what’s happening. Who the hell is this guy? A friend, a relative, someone from the ranch? With that Hawaiian shirt, the ponytail and the sunburn, he doesn’t look like someone Troy would know.

A fallacy, cause judging by the shocked look on Troy’s face, he knows the stranger all too well. “Jimmie…” Troy murmurs, apparently having trouble keeping his voice steady. “What are you doing here?”

“Well,” the man shrugs, “now that the crops are harvested, we wanted to take a little break and…” he shoots a look over his shoulder, back at a woman greeting them with a nod and a little girl building a sandcastle, “take Lizzy to the beach.”

Troy returns the woman’s gesture stiffly.

“So what about you, Troy?” Jimmie turns his eyes back to Troy. “How come you’re in L.A.? I thought you were spending the weekend at Mike’s in Phoenix!”

“Yeah, well, you know…” Troy replies, then his voice breaks off. His face goes blank and for several seconds, all he does is just stand there, stare at Jimmie with a petrified expression.

“He is,” Nick suddenly chips in, only barely putting together the bits and pieces of what’s going on, but feeling prompted to do something, anything nevertheless, to help his friend with an answer, as the latter’s hesitation has started to make the lie painfully obvious. “Nice to meet you. My name is Nick Clark,” shaking the man’s hand, “I’m a classmate of Mike’s at college.”

“Ah!” Jimmie’s eyes move on to Nick and he smiles as he shakes the latter’s hand, even though it’s obvious he still fails to see how that would explain Troy showing up in L.A.

So Nick goes on to further develop his lie. “Yeah, we were planning to take a trip to the sea this weekend, but unfortunately Mike fell sick, so… Troy and I decided to come here by ourselves.”

The words haven’t even left Nick’s mouth as he feels Troy shoot him a sharp look. He decides to ignore it – cause yeah, it was a lie, but a lie’s better than no explanation at all, right? All Nick wanted to do was help. So fingers crossed Jimmie will buy it.

“Cool,” the man with the ponytail eventually says, nodding approvingly, and Nick finds himself inwardly sighing in relief. “Then enjoy the last beams of sunlight, and uhm…” he flicks his fingers at Troy, “I guess I’ll see you back home?”

Again, no reply from Troy at first, only as Nick takes in a sharp breath, Troy suddenly goes for a “Yeah, see you.”

Then Jimmie heads back to his girlfriend / wife and the kid, not without looking at them over his shoulder one last time, calling: “And tell Mike to get well again from me!”

Troy only lifts his hand in acknowledgement, then hastily turns around, hurrying on.

Nick is struggling to keep up with his sudden pace. “Troy,” he calls, and only then Troy slows down a little. He doesn’t look at him though, and the expression on his face is hard to read… so Nick is unsure what to make of it.

He decides to keep up the chipper mood, hoping Troy will forget about the incident soon and things will be back to normal in a few minutes.

“Whew, that was close!” he chuckles. “What an impossible coincidence to run into someone you know here of all places!!”

Troy doesn’t reply – his mind seems to be lost elsewhere.

The moment got to him more than Nick originally thought, but the exact reason why… he can only guess. Is Troy worried Jimmie might have grown suspicious? But why would he? They’d just taken a walk by the beach, like any other two people could do. He definitely couldn’t have spotted the almost hand-holding or anything. Besides… “My excuse saved us, didn’t it?”

“Saved us?!” Troy suddenly stops, looking at Nick. “Geez, you have no idea, do you?”

“What?” Nick counters, hurt and worry mixing in his eyes.

“Rachel is best friends with Gretchen, Mike’s sister,” Troy growls. “There’s no way she’s not gonna mention her brother’s ‘sickness’ to her, and then Gretchen will be surprised and tell their mom. Their mom will be worried and call Mike – and Mike doesn’t even have the slightest clue I was supposed to be spending the weekend with him in the first place, not to mention he's supposed to be sick. And sooner or later, my dad will find out...” His face has turned darker and darker as he spoke. “So no. You made it all worse.”

“I’m sorry,” Nick replies automatically, shocked about the actual scope of his meddling. “I had no idea…”

“Yeah, of course you had no idea,” Troy barks at him. “Because you don’t know anything about me!”

The words linger in the air for some time, as silence settles over them. The last beams of sunlight have perished, the sky has turned into a grayish blue.

And Nick stares at Troy with his eyes wide.

“Look, I’m sorry…” Troy hisses eventually, as he notices the hurt look in Nick’s eyes. “You were just trying to help, I know that… It’s just…” He casts his eyes down, then shakes his head. “It’s complicated. I just wanna get outta here.”

“Okay,” Nick whispers, struggling to fight back the pain clenching his heart. Troy’s just upset, in panic even. He didn’t mean it. He’ll calm down again. Everything will turn out alright, you’ll see.

They turn around, and in silence head back to the parking lot.

 

***

 

Twenty minutes later, they’re in the car, on their way back to Nick’s place. Troy hasn’t spoken a work ever since his freakout at the beach, and Nick hasn’t interrupted the silence either – he’s struggling to make sense of the whirl of all those different emotions inside of him.

There’s regret and shame, obviously, that – even though with the best intentions – he ended up causing such a huge dilemma for Troy. There’s hurt and pain over the latter’s indignant reaction. There’s sadness, seeing their wonderful weekend take such a horrible turn and probably watching all his dreams and hopes for the night fall to shreds.

But most of all, he’s worried for his friend, who might have to bear the consequences of their accidental meeting with Jimmie…

“Is there nothing that can be done about all this?” Nick eventually says, voice muffled by the narrowness of the car. “Can’t you just call Mike and fill him in?”

“Telling him what?” Troy snorts, head resting on his arm against the passenger window. “’I used you as an excuse to spend the weekend with some guy I’ve been seeing, and we were stupid enough to get caught. Could you please fake a blocked nose and back my alibi?’”

Troy said it with sarcasm in his voice, but to Nick, it sounds like a valid plan. “Yeah, wouldn’t that work?”

Troy sits up in his seat, then looks at Nick from the side. “Don’t you get it?” he hisses. “No one can _ever_ know about this!”

“Mike’s your friend, isn’t he?!” Nick counters instantly. “And even he wouldn’t understand?!”

Troy lets out a scoff, then turns away again. “No one can know. It’s that simple.”

Silence returns to the car, and for a moment, Nick is surged by a flash of annoyance himself. Troy’s making this unnecessarily hard, isn’t he? There would still be a chance to get this night to a happy ending. All he needed to do was call Mike and fill him in. Then they could wipe their foreheads with a relieved sigh, chuckle at all of this and enjoy the rest of the night without a care in the world. Why can’t he just swallow his pride or whatever, and go for the solution that’s right within their grasp?

“God, I just…” Troy suddenly says, interrupting Nick’s thoughts. “Can you pull over?”

“What? Why?” Nick blinks, not understanding at first what’s going on.

“Pull over,” Troy pushes, “ _please_.”

Irrationally assuming Troy had felt an urge to throw up or something, Nick reacts in an instant, signaling and stopping at the side of the street.

Unfastening his seatbelt, Troy pushes open the door, bolting out. “I’m sorry,” is the last thing Nick hears, before the door is practically shut in his face.

“Troy?! Troy!” Nick calls, watching his friend in the side mirror, heading down the street. “Fuck!” he curses, unfastening his own seatbelt, just to get out of the car. “Troy!” he yells, just as the car behind him gives him an aggressive honk.

Troy, already pretty far away, doesn’t react, instead vanishes into the darkness.

Other cars have started honking as well.

“Fuck this!” Nick snarls, hitting the roof of his own car with his clenched fist in frustration.

More honking.

“Fuck all of you!!”

 

***

 

There isn’t a drop of anger left when Nick unlocks the door, stepping into his dark and empty apartment all by himself.

He’s trembling – the shocking and unexpected events of the last hour numbing his senses as if he was wandering through a bizarre and painful nightmare.

He’d been forced to drive on eventually, and even though he’d turned around at the next intersection and searched the surrounding streets for Troy, it was no use. Wherever his friend had gone, Nick wouldn’t be able to find him.

So eventually, with a vacant stare in his eyes and his knuckles showing white from his clutching the steering while, Nick returned home.

Troy’s car was still parked on the parking lot, his bag still in the corridor. Sooner or later he would have to return to get his stuff, but Nick didn’t even wanna think about what kind of reunion that would be. After all that’s happened, the harm to their relationship – by Nick’s imprudent words as much as Troy’s rash buzzing off – could never be undone.

He should have known, Nick thinks to himself, as he plops down on the chair by the kitchen table, crestfallen. For a few hours, he’s _actually_ , _truly, perfectly_ been happy. A feeling he hadn’t had in a long time, years even. Not since an emergency doctor had burst through the gates of the abandoned church – and had been too late still.

You mustn’t be happy – as soon as you are, rest assured fate will punch you right in the face.

His eyes have come to rest on the couch, neatly prepared for a good night’s sleep with the pillow and the blanket. God, he had been such a fool worrying about how to spend the night, obsessing over whether Troy would actually be spending the night in his bed or on the couch – when now, in reality, Troy would spend the night _not even_ on the couch.

Nick looks away, unable to bear the sight of the empty couch anymore. God, he just feels so tired. He wishes he could just lay down and sleep and would never be forced to wake up again…

Maybe it would have been best if they’d never met in the first place. Then at least he wouldn’t have to bear the loss… It’s what his mind tells him, and yet, he knows his heart feels differently.

His heart is with Troy, thinking of him, hoping that wherever he may be right now, he’s alright.

For a moment, Nick considers calling him. Apologize. For everything. And beg him, _beg him_ to just return.

Reluctantly pulling out his phone, he eventually switches the device on – a message greeting him on the lock screen: “You have two new votes on your latest poll”.

He feels his heart clench as soon as he reads the notification. The poll on the plan for the rest of the night. The poll that’s so irrelevant, so ridiculous, cynical even in hindsight…

He’s just about to wipe off the message, when all of a sudden, something strikes him as odd. Didn’t he deactivate the poll when he read the results, as he usually does? Not that it mattered. But still.

With a few hasty taps, he opens the CrowdClue app, accessing the list of his active polls – just to startle in disbelief.

There’s one poll still active – a poll he never posted.

And as he reads it, the question feels like a knife thrust into his chest, and he finds himself pressing his hand on his mouth in disbelief.

_Are Sean and Bartholomew meant to be?_

Troy. Troy must have posted that poll, while they were at the beach… And right at that moment, the image of Troy flashes before Nick’s inner eyes, a sheepish grin on the man’s face as he secretly posted the poll, thinking of Nick with a loving sigh. It was proof. It was proof Troy had wished for them to have a future as well… A thought that suddenly makes it so hard to breathe.

And just like that, Nick’s eyes come to rest on the diagram next to the question. And the results actually bring tears to his eyes.

_Yes. 100 percent._

With trembling hands, he stares at the vote for a long time, fighting back a helpless sob.

Then he puts the phone away and buries his face in his hands. There is no need to hold back anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yup, no poll this time. As you can see, Nick's not in the shape right now... :(


	14. A Safe Place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, finally I managed to write on after last chapter's crazy events.  
> Thank you soo much for all your amazing comments on that one <3 I was so happy to hear I somehow managed to bring the emotions of the chapter across! Your words really meant so much, thank you to everyone!  
> Hope you'll enjoy the next chapter as well, this time with a bit of a glimpse into Troy's past :)

A faint glow in the darkness. Mesmerizing in a way. Nick can’t take his eyes off it.

A bit more than an hour has passed, and Nick’s sitting outside on one of the two wooden chairs on the tiny balcony, absentmindedly gazing at the cigarette between his fingers. The night’s surprisingly cool, but even though Nick’s still wearing the same T-shirt he wore at the beach, he isn’t cold. He doesn’t really feel the chilly breeze on his skin. He doesn’t really feel anything.

The storm of sadness and regret that had swept over him, crashed him earlier is gone. He feels empty in a way, but also calm and collected.

Maybe fate simply didn’t want him to find someone else. Maybe he would have chickened out anyway. Maybe it was all for the better.

He had liked Troy, very much, really. And thinking back to their wonderful day at the beach and this incredible feeling of peace and happiness that Nick hadn’t felt for a long time, kept trying to convince him otherwise. But the way Troy freaked out at the mere _chance_ of someone finding out, made Nick realize once more how little he actually knew about this person, about the issues and demons that were lurking somewhere deep within.

And yet.

_Are Sean and Bartholomew meant to be? – Yes. 100 percent._

He stubs the cigarette into the ashtray, then gets up from his chair and heads back inside.

Doesn’t matter anymore. He could just as well start tidying away the things he’d prepared for his houseguest.

Numbly, he puts the second table setting away he’d prepared for tomorrow’s breakfast. Then he moves on to the couch with the sheets that will never be used. Just like, ironically, he’d secretly be hoping all along.

_You got your wish, boy. Congratulations._

He’s just about to reach for the pillow, when right at that moment, the ringing of the doorbell cuts through the silence.

In the blink of an eye, Nick jolts out of his misery, suddenly wide awake, his heart almost skipping a beat at the  prospect of who might be on the other side of the door. _Troy. It has to be Troy! He came back!_

Nick’s by the door in an instant. _Don’t get your hopes up too soon,_ another voice warns him in his head. _Chances are it’s just the UPS guy dropping a parcel for the neighbors. And even if it is Troy, he’s probably just here for his bag._

He opens. And for the second time today, the door reveals the handsome shape of Nick’s crush, this time however, no happy, slightly nervous smile on the man’s face. No pissed-off glare either.

Troy looks crestfallen, guilty, _sad_. When Nick stares at him, he doesn’t even manage to look him in the eyes. “I’m the biggest asshole in the world.”

Nick catches himself hesitate. The sight of his friend so troubled and upset gives him a sting in the heart. Once more it makes him realize what Troy must actually be going through just because of that one incident, and – even though Nick only meant well – he feels terrible for having brought him into this situation in the first place.

And yet, at the very same time, Nick can’t help feeling a huge relief seeing him back. He’s here, he’s fine, he’s neither lost nor angry. On the contrary: he’s remorseful. Maybe it means there’s hope for them after all.

Without replying anything, Nick simply wraps his arms around his friend, pulling him into a heartfelt embrace. And all the doubts, the worry and the uncertainty from before is gone in an instant. “I’m just so glad you’re back.”

Troy’s hesitant and stiff at first, then, slowly, reluctantly, he does return the gesture. “I’m so sorry for the way I acted,” he whispers against Nick’s hair. “I just… I freaked out. But that’s no excuse for acting like a jerk.”

“I’m the one who’s sorry,” is all Nick replies to that. “I had no idea on how big an issue this whole thing is to you. I should have kept my mouth shut.” Pulling away from Troy, he looks his friend into the eyes. “The last thing I wanted was to get you into any kind of trouble.”

“I know,” Troy replies eventually. “And you didn’t. I… took care of things.”

“You did?” Nick blinks at him, a mixture of surprise and relief in his eyes.

Wordlessly, Troy nods.

For a second, Nick holds his eyes, then takes a deep breath. “Come on in,” he says with a bittersweet smile, taking a step back to make way for Troy to enter.

“Thanks,” Troy replies and steps inside. “Oh, you didn’t even throw my stuff in the garbage container,” he comments cynically, as he spots his bag on the floor in the corridor, just where he’d left it.

“Nah, I didn’t have the time yet,” Nick counters over his shoulder. “Was too busy… right, worrying about you!” And with a self-ironic shrug adding: “And wallowing in self-pity.”

Troy casts his eyes down at that, following Nick into the living room. “I’m sorry.”

“As I said,” Nick repeats, “I’m just so glad you came back! Even though…” Looking at his friend. “I’m not quite sure how you managed to get here.”

“Well, I know your address,” Troy explains quickly. “I needed to clear my head and frankly it took me a while to even just process stuff. Called a cab eventually. Even though I almost couldn’t bring myself to face you again.” He purses his lips guiltily, then adds with a sheepish voice. “But it was getting cold…”

Nick eyes him for a while, then snorts. “How about I make us a nice, hot cup of ‘ _Cheer Up’_ tea?” And as Troy just shoots him a perplexed smile, Nick hastily adds, “It’s from the regular grocery store, I promise.”

At that, Troy can’t help chuckling. Shooting Nick a bittersweet, but grateful smile, he nods. “A cup of ‘ _Cheer Up’_ tea sounds absolutely perfect.”

 

***

 

Ten minutes later, Troy and Nick are sitting in the living room, each one of them a mug of steaming hot tea in their hands. Troy on the sofa between his bedsheets, Nick on the armchair opposite him, legs pulled up to his chest.

“I called Mike,” Troy says eventually, blowing at the tea.

“You did?” Nick asks, surprised.

Troy nods. “Yeah. Took me more courage than my first bull riding, but… I did it.” There may even be the tiniest of proud smiles tugging at Troy’s lips as he says this.

“What did you tell him?”

“The truth,” Troy replies emotionlessly. “He knows now. The first person in the world.” Letting out an absentminded snort. “And he was surprisingly okay with it.”

Nick shifts a little on his chair. “I guess more people than you might expect would be surprisingly okay with it,” he insists with an encouraging voice. “Maybe you were giving yourself too hard a time over this.”

“Unlikely,” Troy shakes his head immediately, letting out a quiet snort. “Mike can accept it because he’s Mike and because he’s my friend. And because he knows a world outside the ranch fences. Other people however…” He trails off and his face darkens. Eventually, quietly, as if talking to himself, he goes on: “If my dad ever found out, he’d kill me.”

The sudden remark gives Nick a sting in the heart, the matter-of-factly way he said it making it almost sound as if he meant it in the literal sense.

Troy cracks a bittersweet grin. “Yup, that’s the way things are. That’s why I freaked out at the chance of him finding out one way or another.”

“God, Troy, I am so sorry,” Nick whispers immediately. “I can’t imagine how that must feel like…”

“Yeah…” Troy goes on, taking a sip from his tea. “It’s never been easy… So far, he lacks definite confirmation, but I guess my dad always suspected something was… _wrong_ … with me.” He looks like he’s about to add something, takes in a deep breath, but apparently he’s unsure about how to put it. Eventually, he says:  “When I was nineteen,” he murmurs slowly, gaze fixed on the mug, “he took me to the whorehouse. He thought all I needed was to get a proper lay, then all the weirdness would go away and I’d magically turn into the son he wanted.”

“He… _what_?!” Nick holds his breath as he hears this. “Tell me this isn’t true…”

“He paid the fee,” Troy goes on unfazed, “and one of the ladies there – though you could hardly call them ladies, as bitter as it sounds, it wasn’t an expensive establishment – took me to her room.”

Nick feels himself growing paler and paler as Troy continues his story. “You told her you didn’t want to?”

Troy shrugs. “It’s not like she would have understood me anyway – language-wise, I mean. Besides…” He takes a deep breath. “As crazy as it sounds… But back then…  in a way… I also thought I needed some sort of… _fixing_ … for all the troubles to go away. So yeah…” Another shrug. “Things took their course. But it’s not like it felt particularly thrilling… And of course, it didn’t change a thing.” He’s started turning the mug in his hands. “I mean… whenever I’ve been… _dreaming_ , it’s not like the memory of that moment ever popped up in my head or anything. On the contrary, whenever I thought back to it, it made my stomach cringe.”

Nick doesn’t say anything, just watches his friend with disbelief in his eyes as the latter continues.

“And in all the time that followed,” Troy goes on, “all I ever felt about that moment was disgust… shame even. Not for the act itself, but rather for the fact that – even though I hadn’t been aware of it back then – I felt my pride violated, by letting someone else _decide_ over me like that, arrogating himself to make a decision like that for me… and talking me into believing that’s what I actually needed and wanted myself.”

“Gosh, Troy, I’m _so_ sorry…” Nick replies eventually, even though words could never match up to what he’s actually feeling right now. “If I’d known about all of this… I would have _never_ suggested to head to the beach, or any place with people around for that matter… We could have caught a movie or just stayed here… We could have had great time…” Shaking his head. “But I guess that’s what you get if you leave a decision like that to some anonymous folks on the internet…”

“Come _on_ ,” Troy counters. “The people on the internet have been doing an amazing job. I wouldn’t want to miss our day at the beach for the life of me. And to be honest…” He pauses for a moment, then looks up to Nick, “it actually feels… good… to talk to someone about this. Someone who understands…”

“I don’t understand a thing…” Nick snorts, suddenly full of disgust for himself. “In contrast to you, my family feels like a flock of angels… Sure, they never had to deal with me introducing them to a boyfriend or anything, but last week I had drinks with my sister and I told her about you, and…” A slight smile brushes over his lips. “She was totally cool with it, happy for me even…” His eyes lock to Troy, then he hastily casts them down again. “Sorry… I didn’t mean to sound like I was bragging…”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Troy replies with a sympathetic smile. “I’m happy to hear your folks are more open…” Eventually though the smile turns into curiosity. “But… what about you? _Never introduced them to a boyfriend_ … And you’ve mentioned your girlfriend, whom you’re missing so badly…” He can’t help shooting Nick a friendly look of defiance at this. “Makes me wonder why I’m actually here.”

“Yeah, well…” Nick can’t help letting out a slightly bashful chuckle. “I’ve always been attracted to both sexes in a way…” he confesses. Not anything he’d ever pictured himself to say out loud, not to mention with someone else present. But Troy’s own openness has changed something about the atmosphere in the room. Made him feel safe and trusting, like in this room with Troy, he could confess anything. And he was right – it does feel good to actually tell someone about it. “I met Gloria and we’ve been together for more than four years, going through all the drug shit together… And you know the end of our story.”

Troy replies with a solemn nod.

Nick wraps his arms around his legs. “It’s funny, because if you tell someone you’re bi, they almost always assume you have to have girlfriends _and_ boyfriends. Like it’s a law of nature. They can’t seem to wrap their heads around the idea you’re in a relationship with _just_ a girl. In a happy, healthy, exclusive relationship. Especially not if it’s the hetero choice.”

Troy lets out a snort. “Yeah, I can imagine.”

“So please don’t think you’re some sort of experiment for me or anything,” Nick then adds quickly. “Because that’s not the case, not at all.” He lets his gaze drop to his hands. “I miss Gloria – I do. I love her and that will never change. She’s a part of me, and it’s not my intention to _replace_ her with someone else. I just want to find happiness again – I know she’d want me to –, and I feel like I’m ready to give someone else another part of my heart.” Realizing what he just said, he hastily adds: “Sorry if that sounded too negative.”

As his eyes meet Troy’s, however, the other man is smiling at him. “It didn’t sound negative at all. I get what you’re saying, and I’m fine with it. It’s not my intention to replace her either or force you to forget about her or anything. I’m fine with opening a new chapter without tearing out all the pages that came before.”

Nick’s eyes literally light up at this, and Troy can’t help grinning. “So you have your baggage, I have mine. Sounds like a fair deal, no?”

 

They don’t stop at one mug of tea. Eventually, there’s a second, then a third. They just keep talking and talking, about love, their lives, their pasts, everything that comes to their minds. This room has become a safe place, where you don’t have to hide or lie about yourself.

And in that regard, spending the night like this has an intimacy of its own to it, fostering a connection between those two men that makes their bond even stronger, deeper than any physical closeness could have achieved.

They lose track of time, and the next time Nick takes a glimpse at the clock, he notices with shock it’s already half past three – and the exhaustion of the day finally kicks in.

For a second, he thinks back to his worry earlier about how to spend the night and whether to risk seducing Troy or not. And the results of the poll he posted at the beach come to his mind: _Why don’t you let him set the pace?_ (88 percent)

_Yeah, true_ , he thinks to himself. Another great advice from the crowd, and after everything that’s happened and everything he’s learned, the only right choice.

“I think I’m gonna call it a night,” he announces eventually, and Troy seems to be okay with it. He empties his mug, but doesn’t insist on another refill.

“Good idea, I’m really beat myself,” he nods with a yawn. “Luckily, I don’t have to go far…” Patting on the pillow next to him.

Nick lets out an amicable chuckle, before getting up. “Good night, then.”

“Good night,” Troy replies.

Nick heads to the door, but as he’s just about to leave, he hesitates for a second. “Troy?” he suddenly says, then shoots a look over his shoulder. “I’m really glad we met.”

Troy’s look melts into a smile. “Me too.”

 

***

 

No matter the tiredness, Nick isn’t able to fall asleep. He’s left the bedroom door ajar in case Troy needed anything. But aside from a few footsteps to the bathroom and back to the living room again, the entire apartment has been lying in absolute silence.

For almost half an hour, Nick lies there in the darkness of the room, pondering about all the things Troy’s told him about his past. The mere thought of growing up in such a hostile environment, with the constant fear of even the closest people around you finding out about who you truly are, makes him shudder.

The fact that he himself grew up in a rather open-minded family in comparison to that even makes him feel a little guilty… He would wish for Troy to feel at home and accepted in his own family as well – or at least get a chance to experience a positive, warm and welcoming atmosphere for once.

Which brings Nick to tomorrow’s plans. Come to think of it… Would it be such a bad idea to introduce Troy to his family? They could drop by the house for coffee… If would be so nice for his family to meet Troy, and at the same time, it might be a positive, encouraging experience for Troy to feel included in a family atmosphere that isn’t characterized by fear and violence…

Or would it just make Troy feel even worse about his own reality? Maybe they should just do something fun by themselves, but without any risk of critical encounters this time – like the movie theater after all! Or just stay home entirely.

A difficult choice once again, and once again Nick chooses to rely on the intuition of the crowd. Switching on his phone, he sets up a new poll, posting his question. Then, without even waiting for the results, he rolls over, waiting for sleep to come after all, and calm the mental waves of this crazy, eventful day.

 

***

 

Nick isn’t able to tell how long he’s been asleep as all of a sudden, he wakes up again.

The room’s still pitch-black, but it doesn’t take long until he notices a quiet rustling coming from the living room. Then a soft tapping noise: Bare feet on the wooden parquet.

Troy heading for the bathroom probably, Nick things to himself, and is just about to lie back down once again, when he notices the footsteps coming towards the bedroom.

Looking up at the door, he notices Troy standing there, the faint moonlight falling in through the windows painting his face in a silver glow.

“Nick…” he whispers softly, not wanting to wake the other man if he wasn’t awake already.

In response, Nick sits up in the bed. “What is it?” Nick replies tenderly. “Everything fine?”

Troy doesn’t reply at first, just looks back at Nick with a strange mixture of reluctance, nervousness and… something else in his expression.

Nick closes his eyes for a second, takes in a deep breath. Then he looks at Troy and reaches out for him, offering him his hand. “Wanna come here?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will he or won’t he? Stay tuned for the next chapter ;)  
> In the meantime, please help Nick with his poll!  
> Vote "Introduce him to your family", "Have a romantic date at the movie theater" or "Just stay home" at  
> <https://www.quiz-maker.com/poll2180402x4Aa0469f-62>  
> (Voting is anonymous and doesn't require any registration.)  
> Majority wins!


	15. Bed and Bath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, I really need to apologize now for taking more than two months to update, especially after last chapter's cliffhanger! Hope you're still around to play on!  
> I hope this chapter will make up for the long wait - we have a lot of loving, kissing and making out this time ;)  
> Please enjoy - and help our sweet boys make yet another good decision at the end of the chapter :)

In silence, Troy comes over to him.

The fabric of his clothes rustles softly in the quiet of the room, otherwise his steps are soundless, as if his feet weren‘t even touching the floor at all.

Nick watches him with serious eyes, as the other man sits down on the edge of his bed.

The faint moonlight illuminating the room in a gentle silver glow is reflected in Troy’s eyes as he looks up, a reluctant gaze meeting Nick’s.

They don’t need any words to express what’s going on in that very moment. They both know what this is about. They both know they’ve made their choice.

Softly, carefully, but no less determined, Nick leans in to Troy, catching his lips in a single, tender kiss.

Troy returns it immediately, letting his lips linger on Nick’s just a bit longer, to taste, to savor every bit of that sensation. He feels Nick exhaling faintly, before breaking away.

Opening his eyes again, Troy looks at him. “I’m sick of waiting,” he says eventually, the expression on his face now more confident, less conflicted than before.

Nick only nods slowly, then reaches forward, his hand finding Troy’s, squeezing it softly. “Me too,” he replies, the look on his face earnest. He shifts underneath his blanket, sliding back a little to make room for Troy to join him.

The other man takes in a deep breath, then slides on the bed next to Nick, the mattress sagging under his weight.

Nick pushes himself on his knees, moving even closer to Troy, arms wrapping around the back of his neck as if pulling him into a long-awaited embrace.

It doesn’t take long until their lips find each other again, the kiss now less shy, less reluctant, but certainly no less heartfelt.

Troy has his arms around Nick’s shoulders, hands eventually trailing down his sides, until they come to rest on his hips. He can feel Nick’s fingers entangling in his hair, as the latter one intensifies the kiss.

It’s Troy who eventually grabs the seam of Nick’s tank top, breaking away for a moment to pull it over the other man’s head.

Nick drops the piece of clothing on the mattress, locking his eyes back to Troy, watching him as the latter lets his gaze roam over the exposed skin. Suddenly, a touch, a warm, prickling sensation.

Nick tries to suppress a quick hiss as he feels Troy’s palm on his side, caressing this sensitive part of his skin. He closes his eyes, just letting himself enjoy the feeling of the touch, as Troy’s hand eventually trails up, over his abs and chest, along his shoulder and down his arm, until his fingers eventually come to rest on the nasty tap marks in the crook of his arm, thumb stroking over uneven scars over and over again.

“Not too pretty, are they?” Nick eventually whispers, eyes locking back to Troy’s.

“It must have hurt...” is all Troy replies, a mixture of compassion and fear in his voice.

Nick stretches out his arm, so the scars are fully visible in the faint moonlight. Then he covers them with his hand. “They’re a reminder of a previous life, of roads better not taken.” His eyes lock back to Troy’s. “I’m ready for a new journey,” a hopeful smile curving his lips, “if you’ll join me.”

Troy looks at him for a few blinks, then lets out a soft chuckle, before leaning in to him and stealing yet another kiss. He can feel Nick still smiling against his lips as the latter one’s fingers slowly, teasingly entangle in his own shirt, and with a playful suck at his bottom lip, he pulls back, helping Troy get rid of it.

Nick immediately wraps his arms around Troy, pulling him closer, bare skin finally touching bare skin. Another long, passionate kiss, then Troy sits back on his heels.

“Have you...” he starts with a sheepish glimpse at the other man. “Have you ever done this before? With a man, I mean.”

“To be honest, no,” Nick replies truthfully. “You?”

A shake of his head. “But… I’ve read a few articles and stuff...”

“Yeah, me too,” Nick replies, pursing his lips a bit bashfully. “I think we’re well equipped.” Pausing for a second. “Not that I actively planned for this to happen this very weekend…” he stammers. “I just...” Shaking his head, before looking back into Troy’s eyes. “I just wanted to be prepared, just in case.”

“I like being prepared,” Troy replies, not without the slightest hint of amusement. “I come from a family of preppers, remember?”

Nick can’t help chuckling – and he’s grateful for it. Eases the awkwardness of the discussion. At least a little, since Troy goes right on.

“Still… From what I gather, it might not be too… comfortable the first time…” Looking away. “It might be tricky to get it done in the first place… I mean… Not that I’m afraid of it or anything...”

“You know,” Nick replies, voice suddenly relaxed, as he reaches forward and playfully interlaces their fingers. “As far as I’m concerned, we don’t _absolutely_ have to go all the way at any cost. Let’s just be together. We’ll see how far we’ll get. Maybe we’ll manage, maybe we won’t. In any case, I’m sure we’ll have an amazing time, no matter what.”

He looks up at Troy and sees the other one smiling back at him, an honest smile, full of gratitude, appreciation – and love. It’s wonderful seeing him like this, so happy, so handsome.

“You’re an amazing person, Nick Clark, you know that?” Troy eventually replies. Then he purses his lips a bit coyly, before hooking his fingers under the waistband of Nick’s pants.

The latter one catches his hand, grabbing his wrist, before leaning in.

A warm breath on naked skin.

“All I know is that I want you here with me.” A whisper in the darkness. “You said you were sick of waiting. So let’s not wait any longer.”

 

***

 

The milky light of early morning falls in through the windows, as Troy gazes at Nick.

He loves gazing at him, he could keep doing it all day.

He’s so handsome. The flawless, slightly sun-tanned skin, the deep eyes, the lips… Oh God, those lips. Curved in such a beautiful way, they’re a piece of art. Troy can hardly resist the urge to kiss them again. But that would wake him up. And that would ruin the moment.

The peacefulness of quiet around them, the soft, even breathing of his sleeping lover. Troy’s trying to memorize every little detail of this wonderful moment, every layer of what he’s feeling right now. Love. Happiness.

He knows he should be ashamed, lying here like this, naked, in bed with another man. He’s confirmed everything his dad had ever accused him of, verified every cliché, given in to the longing he’d always fought to suppress.

And the best thing is: _He doesn’t care. Not even in the slightest._

Last night had been a miracle.

Every second of it, every touch, every kiss, every loving whisper. And it had all been thanks to this amazing person, the one who’d spotted him in the faceless crowd, who’d fought for him, who’d given him strength and courage and confidence. Hard to believe someone like him ever deserved to be as lucky as to meet a man like Nick.

Thinking all of that, he’s smiling to himself, and that realization alone makes him chuckle softly.

Nick suddenly murmurs something in his sleep, a low mutter, maybe not even proper words, then he rolls on his side, turning his back to Troy, curling into a ball.

Troy finds himself staring at the even, soft skin of his shoulder and back. So irresistible. He can hardly keep himself from touching it, kissing it.

Hesitating for a second, since he’s not really sure whether it is his place to just touch him like that, he eventually takes heart, wraps his arm around the sleeping man’s chest and pulls himself closer, until they’re skin to skin once again. Planting a kiss on the naked skin of Nick’s back, his heart skips a beat as all of a sudden he feels Nick’s arm over his own, interlacing their fingers with yet another indecipherable mumbling.

Troy feels like the luckiest person in the world. Resting his forehead between Nick’s shoulder blades, he closes his eyes, going back to sleep as well.

 

***

 

“So,” Nick eventually says chipper, setting a bread basket with freshly roasted toast on the table, before sitting down opposite Troy. “What do you feel like doing today? I’m in a bit of a tricky situation as the host here,” shooting him a sheepish grin, “considering the entertainment bar has been raised pretty high last night...”

“Well,” Troy replies with a smug smile. “After all that’s happened yesterday – the beach, the unplanned running into Jimmie, the...” raising his eyebrows, “ _further events of the_ _night_...” He trails off for a moment, leaning back on his chair. “I wouldn’t mind having less excitement today. At least less of the negative kind.”

Nick can’t help chuckling at that. “I couldn’t agree more.” And thinking back to the results of last night’s poll, just staying home and enjoying a relaxed day here had been the Crowd’s top choice anyway (67 percent). And they have a point once more. After all, at least in here the chances of running into a disaster like the unplanned encounter at the beach are significantly slimmer. And for the few hours they have left until Troy’ll hit the road again, Nick doesn’t want to take any risks.

“So let’s just enjoy breakfast for now,” Troy suggests eventually, “and maybe after that we can… chill a bit?” Shooting him a coy smirk. “On the couch?”

“Sounds perfect,” Nick agrees with a smile. “Even though before we can do that, I’m afraid I’ll have to ask a favor of you.”

“A favor?” Troy blinks, expression turning curious.

“Yep,” Nick nods, taking a sip from his coffee. “After all, lodgings here aren’t for free.”

“You want me to _work_ here?!” Troy replies, voice filled with mock outrage.

Nick points up at the ceiling. “The fan up there’s broken. Has been ever since I moved in. The previous tenant must have wracked it.” Shrugging at Troy. “I was thinking, since we’re both so skilled handymen, you could help me take a look at it.”

Troy can’t help letting out a snicker. “Fine. Let’s get the fan back running. After all,” he can’t resist adding with a smirk, “might be good to have a bit of cooling if things get hot in here...”

 

About twenty minutes later, once breakfast has been devoured and the table cleaned again, Nick is climbing a small ladder in the middle of the living room, Troy standing next to it, stabilizing it.

Nick gives the fan a quick spin with his finger. “Huh, doesn’t seem to be blocked in any case,” he murmurs with surprise.

“Probably the motor’s broken,” Troy suggests, looking up at him. “Remove the cover of the threads.  Maybe we’ll find the flaw underneath.”

“Kay,” Nick replies, sliding the tip of his screwdriver under the cover to use it as a lever. He tries to break it open, but the plastic cover doesn’t budge. “Damn… Seems to be stuck...” He tries again, this time applying more force, until the ladder starts wavering dangerously. “Troy,” Nick complains. “You still got your hands on the ladder?”

“Where else would I have them?” Troy counters quickly. “And don’t worry. Even if you do fall, I promise I’ll try to catch you.”

“You’ll _try_ ,” Nick repeats sarcastically. “How reassuring...”

Right at that moment, however, the cover does give in, chipping off the fan’s threads – releasing one huge puff of dust, descending on them like an explosion of gray snow.

Nick – who’s literally been right in the eye of the storm – is blinking down at Troy with his face covered in dust, hair all gray as if he’d aged decades in just a single second.

Troy, really in no better shape, returns the look in disbelief, then takes in a deep breath, sneezing hard.

“Bless you,” is all Nick replies, as the fan – totally innocently – starts spinning above them.

 

It doesn’t take long until they both burst out into a round of laughter, Nick spreading little clouds of dust himself with every step he takes down the ladder. “So _that’s_ been what’s blocking the fan...” he concludes apologetically, as he stops in front of Troy and looks at him. “I’m really sorry for that...”

“No worries,” Troy replies, still chuckling in disbelief himself. “And you should take a look in the mirror. Or did someone call for a chimney sweeper?!”

“Oh, yeah, that was me,” Nick counters quick-witted, pointing at Troy. “And look, he’s already here!”

 

Nick said he had an idea on how to get them clean again – that was before he vanished into the bathroom. He’s already been in there for at least five minutes now. Honestly, Troy doesn’t have the slightest clue on how Nick spending time in the bathroom could help them _both_ get clean again.

Eventually, however, his host reappears in the doorframe, beckoning Troy to follow him. “Come on, we’re all set.”

“Set?” Troy blinks, but gets up from the chair nevertheless. “Don’t tell me you’re planning on us having a shower together?”

Nick just cracks a grin, then wriggles his eyebrows. “Even better.”

 

The bathroom is hot and steamy as they both enter, Nick closing the door behind them.

The blinds have been shut, the only light illuminating the room is the warm glow of a bunch of lit candles, flickering from the billows of steam emerging from the bathtub.

Troy can’t help letting out a disbelieving laughter. “You gotta be kidding me.”

Suddenly however, he feels Nick’s hands on his shoulders, whispering closely to his ear. “You said you wanted some positive excitement.” He gives his earlobe a playful bite, then pulls the dusty shirt over his head, and opens his pants, letting his clothes drop to the floor. “So here we go.”

With just a few steps, he’s by the bathtub, climbing inside. Letting out a content sigh, he lies back into the water, then his eyes dart back to Troy. “Come on, what are you waiting for?”

Troy lets out a quick snort, still shaking his head. Come on, are we really gonna do this? Eventually though, the sight of Nick sitting in the bathtub, dark eyes fixed on him, the orange glow of the candles illuminating his face and reflecting in the water drops on his shoulder, the moist, steamy air filling the air… “Fine.” Taking a few steps towards the bathtub, he starts unbuttoning his shirt.

“But slowly,” Nick comments with a suggestive wink. “I wanna enjoy this.”

“Oh, shut the hell up,” Troy growls as he crumples his shirt into a little ball and sends it flying at Nick, who catches it before it can hit him in the face.

Nick’s laughing merrily for a moment, then however, as Troy gets rid of the last pieces of clothing, his face grows strangely melancholic. “You’re so amazing, you know that?”

Troy looks up at him, face now just as serious. Nick’s honest, heartfelt words send a shiver down his spine. Wordlessly he takes the last two steps, then, slowly, he swings his leg over the rim, climbing into the bathtub as well.

Nick feels the water level rise significantly, as Troy lowers himself into the water, sitting down on top of him, straddling him. The sensation of their bodies touching in the steaming water sends a prickling through Nick’s body.

He looks up at his lover, then lets out a low “Hi.”

“Hi,” Troy replies, just as casually, then leans forward slowly, resting his arms on the rim of the tub, left and right of Nick’s head, before leaning down, bringing their lips together.

It’s a slow and passionate kiss, the hot water as well as their closeness speeding up their heartbeats.

Nick lets his hands trail along Troy’s thighs, the water slowing his movement, making it feel like a slow-motion shot in a movie, as eventually they come to rest on his hips. He digs his fingers into Troy’s skin, enjoying the way this gets the other man to shudder slightly, before giving his lips a tender bite.

“There’s one thing I wanted to tell you,” Troy hisses eventually, adjusting his position a little to get more comfortable.

Nick catches his lips in another kiss, enjoying the way the hot water, the steamy air around them and his lover so close to him starts to make his head feel so light. He shifts slightly underneath Troy as well, feeling Troy suck in a sharp breath against his lips.

“What?” Nick asks, eagerly intensifying the kiss. He feels Troy’s fingers entangle in his hair.

“This weekend, here, with you, has been the best weekend of my life.”

Breathless words against hungry kisses.

“I don’t know if it’s God or any other crazy bastard I have to thank for meeting you...”

“Troy...”

“But I think…” Another hiss. “I’ve fallen in love with you… Nick…”

The candles start flickering a bit more violently around them, the billows of the steaming water swirling ghostly in the candlelight, the air hot and heavy, sending them into a pleasant delirium.

Eventually, Troy lets his lips linger on Nick’s in total stillness, their touch a soft, perfect sensation, their breaths merging into one.

“I’ve fallen in love with you, too,” Nick whispers eventually, putting their foreheads together for a moment, until Troy nestles his head against Nick’s neck, stretching out his legs and settling down by Nick’s side.

The younger man wraps his arm around him, burying his face in the latter’s moist hair.

“I wish you’d never have to leave...” he whispers softly. “Maybe I could take the day tomorrow off.”

“That would be nice,” Troy replies, smiling to himself dreamily. “But officially I’m at Mike’s, and Mike’s got classes tomorrow. It wouldn’t make sense for me to stay nevertheless.”

“I know...” Nick replies with a sigh. “We got an important project kick off tomorrow as well that I can’t really miss either. It was just so nice dreaming...”

“We’ll meet again next weekend,” Troy assures him immediately. “Sunday. Cause Saturday unfortunately doesn’t work for me. We got a big harvest scheduled for that day, bring in the cabbage before the nights get cooler… And I can’t bail on that.”

“What? No!” Nick replies, disappointment in his voice. “Cause Sunday doesn’t work for _me_. It’s my colleague’s 30 th birthday and he’s got this huge party planned...”

For a few moments, there’s silence. Only the dripping of water can be heard as Nick lifts his other arm, wrapping it around Troy as well, as if trying to keep them together.

“Well, that party’s probably set for the evening, no?” Troy eventually starts. “So what about the rest of the day?”

“Well, it wouldn’t really make sense to drive six hours in total to just meet for an hour,” Nick reminds him.

Troy props himself up on his elbow, looking down at Nick. “We could meet somewhere half-way. Wouldn’t that be an option?! Or Skype!”

“Or,” Nick adds, “maybe you’d like to join me for the party?”

Troy ends up frowning. “Like your date?”

“I love you,” Nick shrugs.

Troy purses his lips. “But what about your colleagues? Would they be okay with that? With two guys?”

“Yeah, I dunno,” Nick admits eventually. “We haven’t really talked about attitudes like that… But they are all very nice people, I promise.”

“I’m sure about that,” Troy replies quickly. “But maybe Skyping would be the safer option after all… At least for now?” Shooting Nick a sympathetic look.

“Maybe you’re right…” Nick eventually agrees. “We don’t have to make up our mind now. We’ll find a way, that’s all that matters” he lets out an optimistic chuckle, pressing his lips against Troy’s with a smile. “Let me take counsel with my pillow on that.”

“And probably the Cloud, too,” Troy adds with a snicker, getting Nick to shrug sheepishly.

“That, too, most likely,” Nick admits, before wrapping his arms around Troy’s neck to pull him closer and back into the water with him.

 

***

 

At about five in the afternoon, the time has indeed come to say goodbye – Troy packing his stuff to get ready for his drive back home to the ranch.

It wasn’t easy for Nick watching him go as – no matter the extensive goodbyeing – one entire week without Troy will be agony.

God, he’s _really_ fallen in love with this guy, more than he could have ever anticipated.

And to think they were lucky enough to have such a wonderful and amazing weekend after all, even after their fallout Saturday night had brought them on the verge of ruining everything…

With a love-struck sigh, Nick watches from the kitchen window as Troy’s pickup vanishes down the road, then he turns around and heads back into the living room, plopping down on the couch that in the end hadn’t been Troy’s bed after all, at least not for the entire night.

With a blissful smile on his lips, he pulls out his phone, switching it on. Leisurely, he ends up browsing through some of his photos, until he comes across an old one, that still gives him a sting in the heart looking at it.

Gloria and him, grinning at the camera.

Pursing his lips a bit melancholic, he lets his thumb brush over her beautiful face.

“Hey Glo,” he whispers softly into the quiet of the room. “I hope you’re happy for me.”

And even though she can’t reply, the radiating smile on her face does give him the impression that she is.

That thought puts a smile on Nick’s face as well, then, eventually, he closes the photo again.

Hitting the CrowdClue icon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your turn again!  
> Vote "Just meet halfway!", "Skype!" or "Take him with you to the party!" at  
> <https://www.poll-maker.com/poll2245845x76F74878-64>  
> (Voting is anonymous and doesn't require any registration.)  
> As always, majority wins!


End file.
